Lonely ~ Girl

Singapore Expo..

2006-11-14T20:08:00.000+08:00

Today, was ok la..nt bad..Morning wake up, as usual i'm late..In e MRT, saw a guy, i think he is nt a " normal" guy ba..He suddenly shout at me, ask me 2 get out of e train..Saying he dun wan 2 see me..Scare me..Everyone was like looking at me lo..i was like thinking : Wat happen?? Haha.. Yep..Reach Expo..Lala..Some conflicts happen which i dun wan 2 mention it anymore..Then went 2 watch Fashion show wif Zila & Arvin..

At ard 4 plus pm, Zila & me went 2 walk ard..We saw ppl use cloth, sew it & make it in2 a pouch..I asked Zila 2 make 4 me, then i went 2 a booth tat teach ppl how 2 use coconut leaf 2 make Grasshopper, so i learn & make 1 grasshopper 4 her..haha..Exchanging of present..Cute sia..After i learn it, i share my "knowledge" wif eric..Haha..Nw we become addicted in doing Grasshopper le..

Tml, finally going 2 chalet le..No more probs gonna occurs, i assume..Hmmm..Emmo super cute lo..She reminds me tat on e 2nd day morning, when we go 2 Escape, we've 2 YAWN..At night during BBQ, we've 2 BBQ some "Elephant wings" & "Hippo wings"..Well, e inventor of tis type of wing is Emmo, Rui & me..Haha..Only we 3 know e secret of it..wanna noe it?? Fat hope..haha.. Tatas..Shall end here..lots of thing 2 pack.. :)
[Tat's my life, my style, my way..]

SHIT DAY

2006-11-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

Today, was a bad bad day..Morning went 2 sci lab & broke a beautiful candle..then went 4 hair-cutting at Civil centre..ARGH!! Stupid haircut..super short..Hate it man!! Told e person 2 cut a little bit..she cut till LEFT a little bit..She still dare 2 tell me shorter betta, wont feel so hot..Nw, feel like hiding at hm..dun even feel like going out 2 face ppl lo..Haiz..

Super angry nw lo..I hate it lo..Like i say didnt pay, dun come..Dere isnt free meal in tis world..As if i wanna b restricted by all tis stupid rules, making it seem as if i act big..etc.. i too hope tat everything is FREE..bt if everything is free hu is going 2 pay 4 e food & other expenses? Left wif 2 more days, it'll b e BBQ day..Food, we already ordered..Almost dun have enough food liao then nw add ppl..Still ask can he come 4 FREE..we're nt charity organisation or watever lo..Bcoz of tis 1 additional person, we had 2 call e BBQ Wholesale ppl 2 specially increase e food..Scare dere isnt enough food 4 everyone..Nt tat i'm very mean or wat..bt it's e fact..I also hope 2 hack care..Whoever wanna bring whoever come, then bring e person 2 eat or even STAY 4 free..Bt e probs is how we going 2 explain 2 e others? I dun mind if u guys have a gd reason & can explain 2 e rest lo..

We had came a long way, finally settle foods, find a 18 year old & above person, planned 4 e programme liao..I feel tat last min work is really troublesome lo..Wat i worried most is ppl dun have enough food..i'm nt against anyone tat wanna come..bt juz feel tat if they never pay, we cant increase e food..It's very unfair 2 e rest hu pay lo..I feel tat if we wanna organise, we should do it 2 e best lo..I do hope tat everyone have fun & enjoy etc..I'm sorry if my tone 2 u was harsh..bt i was indeed stunned by ur reaction of asking me, how 2 ask him..I dunno y i'll hang up in tat manner..bt i juz feel tat i'm toking 2 e air lo..

Shit show

2006-11-12T19:09:00.000+08:00

Finally, e BBQ food was ordered liao..All probs are also solve by 2dae..Feeling quite better nw..No more headace..Nw, is only waiting 4 tat day 2 come..Wahaha..My mother borrow 2 Ghost show 4 me 2 see ytd..Bt i was too busy..so i started watching it alone at hm 2dae..And i find e 1st show rather stupid..Cause e show is like black background all e way..i was like wondering, how 2 watch? all black black de..Cant even see e ppl face clearly..only heard them shouting like mad..Bt saw 1 part is how tat person kanna torture..it was really gross..

Then finally my mother was back & i went in to her room to take other VCD, then went i turn back, she was right behind of me..i was like shocked..She say i crazy..Scare of my own mother..Bt cant blame me wat, she walked in e room without any sound lo..She advise me nt 2 carry on watching bcoz tml i'l be alone at hm again..i was thinking wat does it gonna do wif watching e ghost show lo? wahaha..bt i didnt listen 2 her lo..I still continue watching & i stupidly reply 2 her saying tat so long she dun scare me i'll b alright le..wahaha..

Chalet is another 3 days later..i really hope dere isnt any probs occuring any more..i hope it was a enjoyable wan..haha..All e programme are properly planned & done..hmm..shall end here..busy watching e 2nd show..wahaha..

Tire..

2006-11-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

Today, wake up at 11.45am..Was really tire..Get ready, went 2 CWP 2 meet Ping..Was surprised tat Rui was dere..Tot she was suppose 2 collect $$ frm e rest today..haha..We went 2 Pastamania 2 eat..My Fav. Beef Bolognese..Ping ordered a baked rice while Rui ordered Spicy Chicken Pasta..wahaha..After eating, went 2 orchard 2 get our salaries..It's raining heavily..we were caught in a "human traffic jam", so we decided 2 run in e rain..Haha..Super fun..

After getting our salaries, we went back 2 CWP..On e way back, tat Rui slapped my face!! Haha..Bt she joking only lo..So i FORGIVE her lo..haha..Went 2 Mac 2 buy ice cream!! Then we accompany Rui 2 Nokia shop 2 repair her phone..so poor thing..Today she've 2 use her old hp..New 1 under repair..Half way, i went 2 e control station 2 collect $$ frm Cynthia & Raviin..Bt i waited 4 almost 1 whole hr, still didnt see e shadow of Raviin..At 1st, was quite angry..bt later Rui told me, he went 2 e hospital 4 some reasons..So i also forgive him..haha..I'm such a kind-hearted person isnt it? After tat, went 2 value shop wif 2 check 4 e price of e paper plates all tis..Went 2 Long John Silver 2 have my dinner..After eating, hm sweet hm..

Chalet is another 3 more days ahead..Super excited..haha..Looking forward 4 e BBQ on e 2nd night..haha..Hope it's fun..**haiz..Y going a chalet muz also have so many probs lei? Everyone is complaining tat e prices is too high..bt never spare a tot 4 us lo..Need 2 buy drinks, foods, other things lo..We've been trying 2 cut down on alot of expenses le..We wanna call more ppl, bt some ppl dun wan other ppl 2 go..I'm nt pin pointing hu is at fault..bt juz wat else can we do? We're also paying 4 tat amt lo..Nt as if we're keeping e $$ into our pocket lo..i've e urge of saying tis :"if u wanna come, dun complain..if u wanna complain, dun come.." haiz..stop complaining abt the pricing..Having a Serious Headace..

Back to sch

2006-11-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ytd, dint slp thru out e night, was helping my ex-sunday sch teacher 2 do some mapwork..Spent thru out e night 2 get 5 mapwork done..Morning, went 2 sch 2 help Madm Giam wif e candle making..Tis time round my candle were nicer..Manage 2 reduce e bubbles 2 it's min. ..haha..And, e happiest thing is i fulfil my wish 2 make a ORCHID candle..

Recalling back 2 my sec 1 IPW de orchid candle was real horrible, M told our grp tat no 1 will buy it as it's real awful..Since tat time, i've a dream of making a NICE orchid candle lo..Bt, everytime is focus on seashells or other type of flowers..Today finally, manage 2 fulfil my dream..haha..Suddenly, some "cute" memories came past thru my mind..I hope i can grab hold of those memories..Dun feel like letting go of it..

Another thing tat happen is i fulfil another wish..3 years ago, i've been looking 4 something tat is so called no longer "exist"..Few days ago, i finally found it in Yahoo Auction & manage 2 buy it juz for $5.10..Though cheap bt i've been putting 3 years of effort 2 find it lo..wahaha..So met e buyer at ard 10.30pm..He super gd lo..Come all e way 2 my hse & pass e bears 2 me..haha..** I somtimes seriously believe tat if u preserve till e end, e ending might b a diff wan..Juz like those bears, when i tot i wont be able 2 find it..bt miracle still appear..I hope I can have diff ending..Really hope tat e ending wont b so cruel 2 me..haiz..nvm..4get it.. :D

Mummy Birthday

2006-11-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..Today, my mother bday..After her work, meet her at e coffee shop near our hse 2 eat..Order Curry fish head & Cereal Prawns..Though only 2 dishes bt she was complaining tat she was extremely full lo..Then gif her a angbao & she rather shocked by e amt..Keep asking me, whether i've enough 4 my own 2 spent anot? haha..Bt seriously i tot, e amt was too little..Wanted 2 give more de..bt my saving is limited lo..haha..Tis year her present is a delicious meal & a angbao & I think i'm broke liao..Need 2 re-save again..haiz..

Well, finally my mother bday over le..Nw, watever amt i save will go 2 my "darling"..It had been a long time eversince i "feed" it liao..Haha..I still have a TARGET 2 meet b4 e age of 21..I wont 4get it..hehe..Chalet coming wor..6 more days.. haiz..going 2 b broke again soon..haha..bt super excited abt going 2 Escape!! haha..It've been a long eversince i visit Escape wif Rui they all le..Haha..A list of event have been planned out lo..night cycling, go Escape, watch Sunrise, BBQ, Girls tok..etc..Super looking 4ward lo..bt still troubled over alot of thing..Many ppl still cannot confirm whether they coming anot..Dunno whether can collect e full amt by Sat & order e BBQ food ma..Hope my worries is purely i think too much..

Will keep on praying 4 e chalet BBQ 2 b held successfully & also 4 everyone hu is taking O lvl exam nw..Everyone Jia you, dun gif up even till e last min!! Left wif a few more weeks & it'll b HOLIDAY TIME!! Yeah!! Jia you jia you jia you..Go Go Go..Fan shi zhi yao xiao yi xiao, mei shen me shi shi guo bu liao de!! :) Finally HAPPY 48th BIRTHDAY 2 my mother..hehe.. :)

Green & Clean week

2006-11-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

Today went 2 Rp..Was abit late..Reached at 7.45am bt Mdm Giam didnt scold me lo..haha..Super happy when i saw those pics i took during some past event is being used 2 create a poster lo..haha..Mostly is my "work piece" lo..We started our day by introducing e Candles & Soaps 2 e customers..Brandon & me at 1st wanted 2 challenge de..bt later we saw Jian xiong super resemble a SALEMAN..We are all defeated by him..wahaha..Too bad..We didnt sell it..Else surely earn alot..wahaha..

Though PM came, bt he didnt walk pass our stall..Mdm Giam & Ms Uma was disappointed lo..Later, we saw Mr Khaw Boon Wan..He come 2 our stall & even took a Grp photo wif us..Haha..After tat, i make some candles..bt somehow, i didnt get e "feeling"..All is nt really nicely decorated lo..Then I saw a pot of flower near our stall..e flower super beautiful..So decided to "recycle it..Anyway, it gonna die very soon..Ya..So i put it into e candles..Tis time round, it's real beautiful..Mdm Giam told me bcoz of e tem of e Gel wax, tat is y e colour of e flower change..It really resemble a orchid!! Really super nice..except of those stupid bubbles lo..haha..Went 2 e canteen 2 have my Breakfast cum Lunch wif Ben, James, Brandon & Jian Xiong..The veg James & me eat, have e smell of lavender..weird..hmmm..haha..Bt overall not tat bad la..haha..

After tat, we saw Mdm Giam's daughter & her dog!! Super cute dog..haha..At ard 3 plus pm, we started packing up lo..Then we went back hm..e moment i reach hm, i quickly went 2 my beloved bed..and SLEEP..haha..Coz ytd slp at 5.20am..so really super tire lo..haha..Dere will soon b a sales of e Candles & Soap we made.. 14 - 15 Nov at Singapore Expo..haha..Super looking forward 2 it..Tml is O lvl exam..Hope tat everyone can really do well for their exam lo.. :)

A day in library

2006-11-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

Today, according to ytd planning, went 2 Pastamania wif Rui..Alot of jokes being created by e both of us..haha..We eat till super full lo..After tat, Rui accompany me 2 Sembawang 2 make a new ez-link card..haha..Then we went 2 e library..Rui started studying..As 4 me, i went 2 borrow lots of books on Candles making..Ytd, suddenly have e idea of making a Glow in e dark candle..So tot of doing some research lo..Bt somehow, i still cant find e information i wan lo..Perhaps tml will ask Mdm Giam 4 some advise ba..

Suddenly, a book attracted my attention..If i'm nt wrong e title should b Children of Cambodia's Killing Fields..Hmm, read abt 3/4 of e book..Found it quite sad..Many ppl lost their families, relatives..Ppl are hunger 2 death..Worst is tat ppl tat have been receiving education all tis shall be killed..In another term, kanna "brain-washed"..Quite sad lo..To see so many ppl suffer frm all sorts of illness..They've 2 work frm morning 2 midnight..bt they only recieve a cup of watery rice as their lunch & dinner..Sometimes, i really feel quite fortunate 2 live in singapore..Well, at least we live a comfortable life..Guess, after today, i really noe how 2 appreciated wat i've lo..haha..i noe it's lame..bt it's mainly how i feel lo..

Hmm, Mon e starting of O lvl, hope everyone can pass wif flying colour..Someone say tat he find tat SS is e most difficult sub 2 study wor..haha..Bt i believe he can make it de!! haha..Tml, going 2 RP 4 e Gel Candles making..Hope i wont do anything wrong ba..PM will b dere..it'll be super disgracing if i make mistake lo..haha..lalala..Fan shi zhi yao xiao yi xiao, mei shen me shi shi guo bu liao de!! Jia you Jia you Jia you..GO GO GO!!

Special day

2006-11-02T18:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm, later will be going out wif my dad..hmm..Today e bday boy & girl didnt online lei..Wanted 2 chat wif them de..haha..see whether can get noe of their bday wish anot..haha..Bt too bad.. They didnt online lo..haha..Ytd night have conference wif Rui & Ping..Rui super cute lo..Ask me 2 ask bday boy whether he have gf anot..haha..Abit weird lo..

Today, waken up by Ping at 3pm lo..Rushed 2 CWP 2 photocopy my IC & pass 2 Yoshinoya Shop Manager..haha..After tat we walk ard CWP..Super funny..I tot rui very cute..Never tot tat Ping more cute lo..Ping told me 2 ask Bday boy wat was his nick writing about..Still say, Got gf also never tell me..etc..Super cute lo..Bt i'm nt going 2 ask lo..Is like i'm nt really very close 2 him or wat, y should he tell me lo..haha..

I guess, nw e best is focus in my studies..BGR? Never tot abt it..haha..Juz tot, tat maybe we 2 have alot of topic 2 say? He is juz 1 of my gd friend ba..hmmm..wat a 2 cute friend i've..haha.. Watever..Yep..2dae shall end here..gotta go..Bye!! :D

Back pain..

2006-11-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..Today, wake up at 1 plus pm..Saw a lot of unread sms..Reply 2 them, then went back 2 slp lo..Haha..Dunno y, i feel tat i'm juz in tat mood of sleeping..haha..Today, my back super duper pain..Have problem getting up from my bed..My mother was kind enough 2 apply some medicine at my back lo..Bt she was all e way nagging tat i dun slp properly last night tat is y my back hurt while, i juz carry on reading magazine lo..lalala..haha.. :p

Tml is Clive birthday..He asked me nt 2 offline till 12am & wan me 2 wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY lo..haha..bt i never lo..bleah..haha..Nw at here juz hope 2 give him a early blessing ba.. Happy bithday & all e best 4 ur O lvl wor..Opps!! Someone told me nt 2 say O lvl in front of him..wahaha.. :p And thanks 2 Rui, she remind me abt emmo birthday..Almost forget tml is Emmo bday too..wahaha..Never mind..Emmo, u'll 4give me de right? Ok la..Wish u a super HAPPY BIRTHDAY too.. :D

Hand pain..

2006-10-31T21:20:00.000+08:00

Ytd slp at 6.30am..Haiz..Today, wake up at 8.30am, get ready then sit MRT 2 city hall..Reach Suntec City at ard 10.15am..Started 2 find where Millenia Tower is..Even though it was juz right in front of me, but i walk 1 big round..Dot Dot Dot..I'm super blur lo..Hehe..

Finally reach 23rd storey..Get noe of 1 new friend, Li Yu..She told me wat 2 do..etc..i started 2 help ppl 2 register their name..blah blah blah..Break time, went 2 BK 2 eat..Saw Ming Hong.. Hmm, he is quite a hardworking person lor..Specially went dere 2 study alone even though exam is over..After break time, went back 2 work..At 1st, i tot i'll b very boring bt end up it was really very fun..Though hands abit tire bt e ppl dere is quite friendly lo..I'm willing 2 work 4 e rest of tis Nov & Dec holiday as a receiptionist lo..haha..bt too bad, it is only a 1 day job..Oh ya, saw Pineapple's parent (real de) too..haha..Found out tat they actually get their products frm this company lo..Haha..Really fun lo..able 2 see so quite a no. of ppl i noe..haha..Gd thing wont last long lo..keke..Get my pay at e end of e day lo..Super happy..Gees.. :)

--> Guess, handwritting is e biggest problem i face lo..Juz cant get it written nicely..Wat should i do? Hmm, write till my hand wanna break liao, still feel tat it's very untidy..haiz..How? Tml, will be going 2 his hse..Nw, e having a mixed feeling..Dunno should b happy or sad..haiz..Watever la..Wont let it bother me so much..Wont wanna change my mind last min lo.. :)

If i were to re-choose..

2006-10-30T23:21:00.000+08:00

Ytd, chatted wif Rui on phone..We tok alot of things..The most funny thing is if a guy were 2 purpose 2 u at Suntec e big TV screen..bt e material he use 2 purpose is nt ring or flower bt is ... wat will ur reaction b? And obviously we're in e same grp..we both agree tat we FAINT on e spot!! haha..Super cute lo..Of course still gt e story of a pig & a worm..I think tat Pig is e most clever animal in tis world lo..At least it can survive in 3rd world countries lo..Bcoz it's able 2 eat anything..haha..Ya..Lots of craps was being invented by e both of us ytd lo..haha..

--> Hmm, dunno is it i'm turning 2 b cold blooded or wat, bt i dunno y i juz dun feel sad anymore..I juz cant b bother abt it anymore..I can only say i'm utterly disappointed..The more i think, e more i'm disappointed..Tat disappointment is far more than sad..Suddenly juz have tis thinking : "Y care so much when after all i'm still tat bad guy?" Since u choose 2 malign me..Dere isnt anything i can say anymore isnt it? The more i say, e more misunderstanding will occurs lo..U wan 2 carry on & see everything as if i'm going against u, i also dun care anymore..Forget it, shant tok abt it anymore..

Wahaha..Today super happy..Finally able 2 reach him le..Guess, e most happy thing is 1st time he care 4 me..For e past 15 years, it's e 1st time he care 4 me..Really i feel very contented lo..He ask me nt 2 work 4 him, cause it's dangerous..Bt then he say play play can, he'll give me salaries lo..Wed will go 2 his hse & stay lo..Hope nth will happen in btw le ba..i've waited for 1 whole wk le..Really hope can faster start "work" ba..Faster earn $$..Tml have a 1 day job..Looking forward 2 it too..Though 8 hr, bt can listen 2 MP3 and read magazine while working lo..haha..Sound cool huh? bt guess it muz b super boring ba..tat why i'm requested 2 bring those thing 2 accompany me..Hmm, watever is it, i agree le..I'll surely make it lo.. :)

带我到精彩地带

2006-10-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

Dai wo dao jing cai di dai

Mei wen wo wei lai wei shui er lai
Yi wei dou zhi dao wo de cun zai
neng zuo de zuo dao bai fen zhi bai
que fa xian kuai le ta zou tai kuai

Hai mei kan dao cheng nuo de dui dai
Zhong ting dao shui he shui bei shui shang hai
Zai zen me nan shou ye shou dao xian zai
Shi luo de gan jue shi fou huo gai

You shi hou hen wu nai ye xiang guo yao li kai
zhe xie nian de qi dai
ren bu zhu you rang wo liu xia lai
xin qing yi xiang kai xiang ting hua de xiao hai
ba nan guo jian jian yan gai

Mei wen wo wei lai wei shui er lai
Yi wei dou zhi dao wo de cun zai
neng zuo de zuo dao bai fen zhi bai
que fa xian kuai le ta zou tai kuai

Hai mei kan dao cheng nuo de dui dai
Zhong ting dao shui he shui bei shui shang hai
Zai zen me nan shou ye shou dao xian zai
Shi luo de gan jue shi fou huo gai

You shi hou hen wu nai ye xiang guo yao li kai
zhe xie nian de qi dai
ren bu you rang wo liu xia lai
xin qing yi xiang kai xiang ting hua de xiao hai
ba nan guo yan gai

You shi hou hen yi wai mei jin guo bu ming bai
you yan qian de zhu ai
cai neng gou ba zi ji zhao hui lai
Wo yao de bu ying gai shi bu hao ye bu huai
Dai wo dao jing cai di dai

You shi hou hen wu nai ye da suan yao li kai
zhe xie nian de qi dai
ren bu zhu you rang wo liu xia lai
xin qing yi xiang kai xiang ting hua de xiao hai
ba nan guo yan gai

You shi hou hen yi wai mei jing guo bu ming bai
you yan qian de zhu ai
cai neng gou ba zi ji zhao hui lai
Wo yao de bu ying gai shi bu hao ye bu huai
Dai wo dao jing cai di dai

~ End ~

>> Keke..juz kinda like tis chinese song de lyric..find it quite touching..hmm..Ytd, slp at 5+ am.. Think thru a lot of things..Reflected on them too..Juz tot tat tis song is best 2 represent how i feel & think nw..Wat am i 2 u? Y no matter wat i say even if it was using a nice tone u also take it as i'm toking back 2 u? Wo zuo shen me dou cuo, ni zuo shen me dou dui..Ni mei cuo, yong yuan bu guan zen yang dou shi wo de cuo..ke yi le ma? Suan le..Wo ming bai le..Zai ni xin li wo yong yuan shi cuo de..Yong yuan bu bi ni na xie peng you hao..dere is isnt anything much i can say isnt it? :( Anyway, thanks rui 4 trying me cheer me up ytd night.. :)

walking day..

2006-10-28T19:10:00.000+08:00

Today, wake up 2 plus pm..Get myself ready, went 2 Civil Library 2 meet Papaya..haha..Then we went 2 CWP, eat Yoshinoya 4 almost 1 whole hr..Then went 2 arcade 2 play e sweet game..Papaya very gd..she manage 2 catch 2 piggy, 1 tigger & 1 stitch 4 me..wahaha..we also gotten 1 whole bag of sweet..cool man..haha..Guess we both quite addicted into tat game..haha..Bt we manage 2 control ourselves..wahaha..Papaya super blur lor..Everything keep dropping..Sweets, wallet even Physic Txtbk also drop..haha..somehow, I pity her book..haha..

--> Tot of coming back & change e content..Hmm, dunno y, u like 2 come here so much..I dun mean 2 say tat 2 u bt juz hope tat we can have some distance..It's like we so long never tok liao..Let's dun break tat "record" lo..Alot of things, i dunno & dun understand..Glad tat u clarify wif me..Else really, it'll soon become another problem..I sometimes really hope, i wont be creating any troubles 4 u..Bcoz i noe u're very vexed le..Juz nw when u tell me is bcoz of hu, somehow i wish 2 ask u or at least comfort u..bt hu m i 2 ask u abt ur personal life, stuffs..etc..ok la..watever is it..hope all ur problem gotten solve real soon..PS : I also dun like 2 quarrel wif you..Guess all ur friends too..If u dun trust them & everything keep 2 urself, how are they going 2 understand u isnt it? everything takes time..Treasure them well..Dun ever wait till u lose it then u regret lo..

GAME DAY!!

2006-10-26T22:57:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..Today, whole day play game..wondering how 2 make myself addicted into e game..Bt somehow, i'm unable 2 make myself addicted..Dunno is tis a gd sign or a bad sign..hmm.. Morning, recieve a msg from my shifu..She intro a 1 day job 4 me..bt muz wear till very formal.. hmm..Luckily, tat place was far frm Woodlands..No one will see me..haha..

To :: ..Sorry 2 say, I'm tire of u giving me false hope..Dun tag me any msg or watever unless u confirm e "hope" u gave me is real..haiz..Every single msg sent by u make me think tat we gonna b friend back..STOP giving me false hope..Tat will only break my heart.. :( :(

--> I'm still waiting 4 his phone cal..Y do i trust him so much when i noe 99% he is going 2 lie 2 me? wo zhi dao wo zai ni xin zhong yi dian di wei ye mei you..ke shi, wo shi zhong dou is ni de nu er..ru guo ni bu xi huan wo, na wei he dang chu yao sheng wo? wei shen me bu guan wo zuo shen me ni dou kan bu shun yan? nan dao wo zhen de na me tao ren yan ma? Wo zhi yao ni duo guan xin wo yi dian, zai hu wo yi dian..hen nan ma? bu lun wo dui ni ru he de qian jiu, ni hai shi xi huan jie jie bi jiao duo..wei shen me???? wo tao yan ni!! wo hen ni!!

Movie day

2006-10-24T23:42:00.000+08:00

Today, is Hari Raya..Spent my day quite fruitfully..haha..Went 2 watch Movie at CWP wif Rui, Qx & Ping..Watch Death Note..Hmmm, quite nice..Like e part where L appeared..He is super cute lor..Keep on eating Chocolate, Mashmallow..etc..

It's so sad 2 see a gd guy change 2 a evil person juz bcoz he've e Death Notebook..He was quite a gd person..Bt after e Notebook appear he started 2 kill nt only those bad ppl bt also those gd ppl..Haiz..Cant blame him too..At 1st, when he is still a gd person, when he only use e Death Notebook 2 kills those deserve 2 b dead, no 1 appreciate him..e police even wanna catch him..No wonder he wanna kill those hu wanna catch him..Bt in e end, he even kill his own Gf..haiz..Bt i trust tat L will get him down de!! haha..Super in love wif L..He is simply too smart liao..Cant wait 4 e next ep out..haha..Death Note: The Last Name..Somewhere in Nov..Hope 2 see L again soon..haha..

Hmm, sometimes, i wonder is it worth 2 do something tat u noe is gd 4 tat person bt e person dun appreciate? End up u would only get tat person 2 hate u more..keke..I sometimes hope tat i can have tat Death Notebook..Then perhaps tis world will b a crime-free place..bt tis is also wat tat evil guy think at 1st..bt end up wat he do is only "endless killing"..hmmm, I rather b wat i'm nw..At least, i'm nt a killer..haha..i'm consider a gd person..wahaha..Well, i'm juz crapping..If u understand, gd..If u dun, it's okay..haha..No matter wat happen juz think of e other positive side, & u'll b contented..

I'm feeling miserable

2006-10-22T21:57:00.000+08:00

I feel Miserable..haiz..Everyone tot tat i'm so luckily can work under my father..Bt i'm nt happy..Everyone around me dun understand me..I work under him is also bcoz i wanna earn $$ faster, then i can buy a Hp 4 my mother..Bt they dun understand..They only noe how 2 think tat i've no intergrity..After all tis year, still have 2 ask my father 4 a job..Saying tat e previous job is a tough job so i quit is actually juz a excuse..

As calculated, i noe, if i carry on working as a counter crew, i wont b able 2 get her a HP until e next next month..only working under my father i can earn tat certain amt of $$ asap..I hope 2 buy her e Hp b4 her bday..Juz tis hope, where on earth am i wrong? Ya i put down my intergrity..so? When u saw tat ur own mother have 2 save e $$ 2 pay all those electricity bills & dun wan 2 use e $$ 2 buy a Hp 4 her own even if her Hp is spoilt, how would u feel? I myself hate 2 work under him..bt 4 e sake of e Hp, i cal him & She dun appreciate it..At least i WORK 2 get e $$ from him..nt juz sit dere WAIT 4 e $$..It is also a job isnt it?

--> wo hao xin kuo..mei ren liao jie wo zai xiang shen me..wo xi wang ta neng liao jie..ta que gen wu hui wo..wo hao lei..wo zhe yang de wei ta zhao xiang, ta que bu ling qing..wo hao shang xin ar..nan dao wo cuo le ma? wei sheng me jiu lian ta duo bu liao jie wo? wo hai yi wei tian xia de ma ma dou shi yi yang de..mei xiang dao, wo xiang xiao shun ta..que bei zhou wei de ren kan bu qi..zui jin de ta ting suo wo yao qu wo pa jia zhu he zuo gong, ta lian yi ju gu li de hua dou mei gei..wo hao xin tong..zhen de hao xin tong..

Hope tat he will contact me sooner..though i dun like 2 go his hse & stay & work under him..bt dunno y, i juz hope 2 earn as much money asap..No one will ever understand how i feel..I started 2 trust money more than anyone in tis world..Other than $$, guess e only 1 i trust is God..No 1 worth my trust nt even my own parent..They're e 1 hu make me believe tat $$ can help us in no matter wat..It can also help u buy a family relationship..

I dun feel good too..

2006-10-19T13:32:00.000+08:00

Oh ya..juz recall tat i wont have 2 work on Sun..haha..super happy..hmm..later will be going 2 work bt nw still early..i work evening shift so still can slp..bt i'm too lazy 2 slp..haha..Hmm, today feel very weird..i'm nt sure ba..

Somehow, i feel tat is alright 2 say u already "xin hui yi leng"..Cause me too..Nth much i can say..bt juz dunno y u wait till nw then u tell me, i'm e 1st & e last person u trust? Since u already "xin hui yi leng" then wat is e point of saying all tis? hmmm..Perhaps i dun understand & forever i wont understand wat's in ur mind ba..U have ur own thinking & i have mine..I tot, human at times juz shouldnt be too "cold-blooded"? Every human have feeling isnt it? bt i dunno y u choose 2 say tat u dun trust anyone..

I dun seem 2 noe u anymore..haiz..perhaps u was like tis in e past..Everything is back 2 e past is tat wat u mean? If tat is e case, i rather u come back 2 e present state..Nw, wat i see is, u only care 4 urself, wanna b alone..etc..Tot u wan 2 b independent..Though independent bt nt 2 e extend of trusting no one isnt it? Wat can i do 2 stop u becoming back 2 e past?? haiz..

Working Day

2006-10-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

Heehee..Ytd, after sch, went 2 my cousin hse..Super happy..Eat home-cooked meal..haha...Today, wake up bring Hao hao & Russell 2 their sch, went 4 breakfast wif my 2nd cousin & her mother.. Then Ah m bring me 2 buy my shoe..heehee..Went back, rest 4 a while, accompany her 2 dental clinic..then fetch Hao hao back from sch..haha..

Went back 2 my cousin hse, slp 4 abt 2 hr, then wake up..get ready..Then went 2 work..haha.. Really super unlucky, i should report work at 5pm bt i reach dere at 3.45pm..haha..reach earlier..haha..walk walk walk..Finally, report 2 work!! haha..First day..haha..super fun..Get noe of 2 friends..haha..Charles super gd..Gif me extra chicken 4 my meal..haha..Like my Shi fu most..She treat me Ice cream..haha..super nice..Also teach me e 7 ways 2 serve e customer..haha..Guess i'm getting used 2 tis work le..Everytime got new experience..Today, saw Jacelyn Tay..She is super pretty lo..haha..Shall end here..Yawn~ i'm so tire..

Yes!! Everything back to normal liao

2006-10-16T11:04:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, today is my best day ever..Ytd msg M & finally she msg :: back..Although nt reply 2 me bt at least i noe she is ok nw..I felt really relieve..haha..Then, my fever also went down le..The temperature nw is 37.3..hope it wont go up again..After 3 whole days of struggling..Finally, i RECOVERED!! So, Papaya, u better watch out..if ever we "quarrel", i'm gonna win u!! Wahaha..

Ytd, Yoshinoya's Manager call me..she told me 2 start work on wed, 4pm..Guess e working time 4 me is 4pm-10pm ba..hehe..i enjoy working afternoon shift..so tat in e morning i can slp, slp & slp..haha..Haiz..Dun feel like going 2 sch tml..The thinking of seeing e Trainer make me..........bt already promise le..then better go ba..else ppl might say we break our promise..haiz..

Very worried

2006-10-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

Today, is my 3rd day of fever..went 2 see doctor..Doctor ask me did i vomit blood while coughing, i told him so far no..bt when i reach hm, i cough till really vomit blood..hmm..Then went 2 eat e medicine..Vomited too..haiz..Guess my days are numbers..haha.. Temperature nw is 38.7..In e morning it was even worst 39.6..Doctor says if by Tues it still cant come down, need 2 go see him again..Wonder wat will happen if it still dun wanna go down..

Hmm, really very worried abt M..Till today, she still havent reply 2 anyone of them..Haiz..Dunno how is M le..Hope she can faster reply 2 at least 1 of them, at least we all noe tat she is fine isnt it? Haiz..Nw having fever already very weak le..Still have 2 worried abt M..Dunno how am i going 2 get well in tis condition..Haiz..Somehow, i juz wish 2 see her be as happy as b4..haiz.. Maybe she need time 2 re adjust her feeling ba..watever is it, juz hope 2 know tat she is fine lor..Shall keep on praying 4 her 2 get well soon..

Wont be going to sch tml..Haha.. i think most of e girls nt going lor..haha..Well, we have our own reasons..Papaya & Peach nt going bcoz they have 2 go 4 injection..Me is bcoz i'm having a high fever..haha..The doctor gif me 2 days MC wor..haha..Plus, i dun & wont ever "appreciate" his lesson de..Bt tues every girls will be going bcoz got Free Mac meal!! haha..Visting e Headquarter of Mac..haha..No la..Actually, e main reason is bcoz we promise e manager we will go lor.. so we have 2 fulfil our promise..hah..really dun feel like going..haiz..

Fever cum sad..

2006-10-14T14:06:00.000+08:00

Ytd, didnt go 2 e graduation day..Then walk ard 2 look 4 job wif Pear..Finally, found a job in Yoshinoya..will b starting work on e 18 oct 2006..After tat, dunno y, suddenly have high fever 39.6.. Then still went 2 see Rob-B-Hood wif Papaya, Pan tao, Pear & Peach..Tis is cal never die b4..haha..So sad..My mother cook steamboat meal bt i didnt eat eat lor..too weak 2 even eat..when i reach hm, eat my medicine, immediately went 2 bedroom & slp..

Today, Still having fever 38.8 ..Wanted 2 go work as a flyer distributor..bt still very weak, so last min cancel..Asked Rui & Ping 2 go..Dunno y, suddenly have e urge 2 go online..Then saw someone blog..then i noe tat M actually cried ytd during e graduation day..Hate myself 4 having fever ytd..If i go online ytd, i would be able 2 see tat blog earlier..haiz..Dunno how is M le? feel quite worried..Didnt really understand wat is e meaning of breakdown..Haiz..Dunno wat i can do 4 her in order 2 cheer her up..Juz hope tat M is fine nw..Sms her, noe tat she definately will feel irritated..bt at least, i do wat i wan 2 do..I dun mind her being angry.. :) Juz hope tat she is feeling better nw..

Haiz..Last min dint going 2 my cousin birthday party..Was actually looking forward 2 eat e birthday cake & staying in e Bungalow..I miss my cousins & my 2nd "Mother" too ..bt my temperature were increasing..from morning 38.8 till 39.2..Juz nw even vomitted..Hope tml can get well..so i can go their hse 2 stay..haha..haiz..Really i feel lost..Dunno wat i can do nw..Haiz.. Will keep her in my prayer every now & then..Tat is e very least i can do 4 M isnt it? haiz..Even though i didnt go 4 e graduation day ytd, bt i noe, it is definately heartbreaking enough 2 see M cry ba..haiz..

Shit Trainer

2006-10-12T16:36:00.000+08:00

Today, super sad..Went 2 attend e Elective Module & was late..Kanna scolded & insulted by e Trainer..Super angry..Tingyuan was cool..when he say, if u nt happy wif me, u can always go out..Then, she immediately walk out..After she walk out,he continue scolding me & Huilin..i was tolerating until he insulted my dream, i stand up & shouted at him saying "Dun insult my dream!!", i walk out e room & slam e door..I run up 2 e hill opp. e sch..Sit down dere started 2 cry..Super sad..Mrs Loh & Ms Lim came up 2 e hill & comfort me..They super cute lor..Keep advising me 2 go complain..Dun let e trainer off easily..haha..They brought me 2 e HOD Room 2 complain 2 Mrs Yap..Went 2 e Canteen meet Tingyuan..Found out tat Huilin also walk out of e room bt she is e gentle type, she raise her hand & ask e him "can i go?" haha..Tok 2 Madm Ruan they all too..They also say tat we're nt at fault bcoz e trainer nt only juz scold us..Bt as we 're asked 2 let e matter rest..i wont futher elaborate here..Ya..So we waited 4 his Manager 2 come..We told him watever happen & he apologize behalf of his staff 4 tis type of behaviour..

All e guys keep on saying is our fault, wan us 2 b more open wif wat e trainer says..bt diff ppl have diff view towards diff things lor..bt nw, i'm feeling betta..Anyway, lots of teacher support us & i dun think tat i'm wrong..So no point angry wif tis type of ppl..isnt it? Long time never slam door le & e feeling was.."Embrassing"..Hmm, cant imagine wat will those ppls at e opp. side of e room think or feel when they heard my slaming of door..haha..Heard from Papaya, their chem class ppl was all like all very surprise..haha..bt I'm already very "cool down" liao..only slam door..If nt bcoz, i hurt him will have 2 pay 4 e hospital fees, i could have throw e chair straight in his face le lor..Bt really thank God tat at least i didnt hurt anyone out of anger..haha..

Haiz..Juz feel insulted..Bt prove 2 him wrong 1 day!! haha..At tat moment up on e hill, i hope 2 dial someone number bt i found out tat i dunno e number..Dunno wat 2 do..juz at dere crying..so sad..Bt i cant always depend on :: isnt it? Have 2 learn 2 depend on my own isnt it? haiz..Dun intend 2 go e graduation day tml..Super boring..juz went dere 2 take e cert..Juz dun like e feeling of going up e stage..haha..

Car accident

2006-10-10T19:58:00.000+08:00

Yeah!! N lvl finally finish le..Hmm, today went back 2 sch 4 Sec 5 Briefing..All e teachers say until super scary..Haiz..guess, if i'm able 2 go up 2 Sec 5, i'll struggle like dunno wat lor..Haiz..Then straight after tat, sit cab hm wif Qx then went 4 job interview wif Chien Ming, Eric & Rui..

Went 2 e industrial area wanted 2 find a job bt instead we saw a car accident & a dead body lying on e ground being covered by a white cloth..Haiz..poor man..Worst of all is we have 2 walk pass "him"..Haiz..After tat, went 2 Raffles Place..Wah..Almost all e shop wanna hire ppl..So we went 2 Yoshinoya & a Cookies shop 2 write e form..Guess, wat we can do nw is 2 wait 4 e reply ba..Went 2 BK eat & chit-chat awhile, after tat go shopping..B4 we go back, we saw the FM 933 DJ & Superband Champion, Mi Lu Bing..And, FM 933 DJ, Pei Fen, is super pretty..Haha..After seeing them, we sit MRT all e way back 2 Woodlands..

Hmm, on my way hm in a bus, a pair couple sit in front of me..Guess e girl have e urge 2 kiss..She keep on kiss e boy..Every sentence e boy say, e girl will kiss him..she keep on asking e boy 2 kiss her back..Lol..feel like laughing on e spot..bt cannot la..else they will feel embarrass de lor..See i so gd?! haha..Bt really feel like telling her : " Excuse me miss, i'm still underage.." haha..Sad..Dec Baby so poor thing..Even NC 16 also cant watch..haiz..Somemore, nowadays e jobs all tis always look for 16 year old & above de..haiz..so pathetic..Everything is 16, 16, 16..haiz..

On Going N lvl..

2006-10-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..Long time never blog le..Recently was really very busy wif my on-going N lvl Examination..Lots of thing 2 blog 2dae..1st is my Eng exam..Guess, i write out of point 4 my paper 1 bt e paper 2, passage B is easy..Gt 1 sentence i quite agree wif it which is " Those who can; do..Those who REALLY can; teach..Being a teacher is already very tough le..Being a GD teacher is much more tougher lo..Somehow, something came across my mind while reading e passage..

2nd is my Geo & Math..Geo quite ok..Actually i studied Industry qns bt when i look at e qns, it seem like very hard, so i change 2 Tourism..haha..Then Math, tat is e worst lo..Obtuse angle suppose 2 b inner angle bt i write outer angle..Lost quite alots of mark..Bt I'm nt going 2 give up..will work triple hard 4 my paper 2 in order 2 get a A1 for my Math..Combine sci..Hmm.. Physic really careless..Dull colour asorb heat bt i go write Shiny colour..haiz..Chem, so far so gd..bt confirm gt abit careless here & dere..Dun really aim high 4 combine sci juz a A2 or a B3, i'll b very contented liao..B4 Exam, my target is 2 b a 3 pointer bt nw, 5 point i super happy liao..haha..Luckily, 4 & e half paper finish liao..Left wif 1 & e half more paper..After tat is HOLIDAY!! Yeah..tat is wat keep me motivated right nw..Wahaha..

Hmm, tis few days have been burning midnight oil..Going 2 become panda bear soon liao..luckily tml no sch..FINALLY can SLP!! Wahaha..Need time 2 recover my brain cells..bt maybe tml going library 2 practice Math Paper 2..Haiz..Pathetic..Hope tat holiday faster come..bt still need 2 go find holiday job..Juz Pray tat e factory is willing 2 take us in..So tat i can straight away report 2 work 1 or 2 day after my N lvl exam end..Then can earn more money & reach my target of saving $15,000 b4 e age of 21..haha..Seem 2 b tough bt i wont give up de..Haiz, i really wish 2 forget some past bt somehow, it juz RENTAL a place in my heart & brain..Cant get rid of it no matter wat..haiz.. :(

Lantern Festival

2006-09-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today, went 2 library..study chem, went 2 KFC wif Janice..Chat Chat Chat..Then went back library study till 7pm.. After tat, went 2 Vista Park help Madm Giam wif e Lantern Festival..Being a Professional Photographer, i helped Madam Giam to took lots of Pics..Haha..Then later saw my P's Family Members ALMOST all arrive..super touched!! Tot tat they wont be coming..Even Papaya also gt go..super happy..

After, Pizza & me collect our goodies bag, everyone set off 2 e school track dere 2 play candle..Pantao & Leong almost gt into a fight..Luckily nth happen..So we started playing..Play till half way, it started to drizzle..hmm..so sad..haha..then went back 2 Vista Park..Walk here & dere nth 2 do..End up went 2 e Swing dere, burn all e candles we have..Went 2 e playground near Pineapple hse, Pear called her & invite her down..So everyone of us, went 2 e tables dere, play wif Fire..Think Pantao are mad lo..He throw e lighter into e fire then it exploded..super nice..

Well, today was a nice day until....Gt nth 2 say..juz wanna say..if u think tat u're those sorts of president need ppl 2 invite u, sorry..sad 2 say u're nt..I nicely invite u 2 e Lantern Festival, u reject it making excuses tat u wanna study bt actually u're SLEEPING,other ppl invite u, u go..wat u take me 4? Someone u can show ur attitude on? Then sorry, u find e wrong person..Nvm, juz forget it..Next time, i wont ever ask u 2 go anymore..i've my temper..tis is nt e 1st time u show me ur stupid idiotic ATTITUDE!! I had enough!! Dun u ever test me!!

Is it e fact tat i'm running away?

2006-09-28T18:21:00.000+08:00

Today, never go 2 sch..Wake up late..Basically, i do nth except sleeping thru out e day..Hmm, have been surfing net 4 a few hrs..Suddenly feel tat i dunno wat i'm doing..Nth 2 do online too..So tot of blogging as dere is alot i wanna type out..bt somehow, i forgotten wat i wanna say le..hmm..nvm..

Next Monday is e starting of N lvl Eng paper..Somehow, i feel abit shocked..bt sometime, i feel is nth..My mind is juz blank blank BLANK!! Haiz..Pathetic..Juz feel tat i'm nt ready 4 my N lvl..hmm..left wif 3 more days 2 study..Haiz..How am i going 2 cope wif tis stressful examination wif such a lousy attitude? Haiz..Everything juz seem 2 b going e wrong direction..wat can i do? FOCUS is wat i need.. bt my mind is EMPTY!! How!! Suddenly feel very stress..haiz..Who can help me? Have been dreaming of me failing my N lvl..haiz..is it i think too much? hmm..hope so..

super TIRE..

2006-09-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

Ytd
Early in e morning went outside e library wait 4 e library door 2 open..Leong keep pushing me in when e door is only half open..so, i become e first 2 enter e library..everyone was looking at me..super embarrassing..Went 2 e 2nd floor put down bag, went 4 e job interview at Jurong East..bt e uncle say i underage lei..hmm..still waitng 4 his reply..hope tat everything goes well..hehe..went back 2 e library, started 2 study..Not long later, whole grp of us went 2 a nearby coffeeshop 2 have our lunch..recieve a msg frm Yl noe tat she is also in e library..So,study study study till 7pm..went hm wif Yl..

Today
Morning went 2 sch, went 4 Green club photo taking & i'm e ONLY GIRL!! haiz..Pathetic..only abt 4 student including me..haha..e photographer was kinda shock..haha..After sch, went 4 POA remedial..Manage 2 understand lots of thing..haha..Went home, online awhile then go 2 attend e Night study in sch..hmm..Quite fun..Nt really study..more like a gathering..so many yummy tibit & food..wahaha..bt manage 2 finish some Chem qns..haha..Betta than nth isnt it?haha..After Night study saw Elroy outside sch,wearing a ghost costume..As it was quite dark, so everyone plan 2 sabo Miss Aisha & she really scream..hehe..super cute..we so evil..wahaha..Hmm..Tml still going..will b bringing more tibits..haha..Though really tire today, bt really enjoy alot..haha.. :)

Recently, have e urge 2 do lots of thing..Somehow, juz feel leaving sch soon..really hope 2 tell all my friends tat i really care 4 them..bt juz feel kinda weird..bt no matter wat, i'll treasure & always rmb those days we had together..Esp the newly-form P's Family..Chalet coming on November..YEAH!! haha..Tis time round will take lots lots lots Pics..Wahaha!!

Special Day

2006-09-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

Today, really is a very special day 4 me..Recess time, Yl pass me a "present"..e thing she write inside the diary, really touched me lots..Dun worry will always rmb tat day we tok on phone 4 more than 3 hrs de..Haha..Will also treasure e diary as if its mine..

Pear told me M was walking behind of me during recess time & my reaction is " ok..Dun turn our head back.." haha..Hmm, nth much happen 2dae..7 days later, we'll be taking our N lvl Eng Paper..Quite scary..Scare i make stupid mistake again..hmm..bt shall learn 2 b more careful.. haha..Math Paper 1 is another 8 more days ahead..tis time round can score an A1 anot really depend on my Paper 1 liao..Cause Paper 2 often pull my marks down..haiz..Dunno whether can i still live up 2 my promise? hmm..I wonder..

Well, i've deleted her no. ..Anyway, she is leaving sch soon..Guess, wat i can do 4 her nw is 2 gif her "peace", let her concentrate in her major exam ba..Everything had ended in a most unexpected ending..I'm nw back 2 my "normal" life..Quite sad..i do really treasure & i wanted 2 friend her bt i dunno how 2 make e start..Sometimes thing cant b back 2 normal after so many thing happen..Plus i'm e 1 hu say i wanna end friendship de..No point regretting isnt it? Haiz.. Hmm, Papaya was real CLEVER..She knows hu i'm refering 2 in my ytd blog entry..hehe.. Papaya, guess u'll noe hu i'm refering isnt it? haha..bt too bad, no present!! Bleah..Tml going 4 job interview..Pray tat everything will b fine..haha..Will also pray 4 her & M de..

LIfe is getting worst...

2006-09-23T18:13:00.000+08:00

Today, wake up at 5.40am went 2 sch..Found out tat e sch gates are both closed so i stupidly wait outside e sch..Waited 4 abt 8min, finally saw Madam Giam & her husband..I went up their car..As Madam Giam have e key 2 open e back gate, Pizza, me & her went in frm e back gate..Went 2 e canteen, eat e Mac breakfast bought by her..After eating, went 2 sci lab 2 carry things then Crystal, James, Pizza, Madam Giam & me boarded a sch bus which can sit abt 40 students..We were like...5 ppl sit a 40 ppl sit de bus..super funny..

Reach New Town pri ard 7.30am..Set up our booth..wait 4 Mayor 2 arrive..Went up stage 2 take e certificate..Went back 2 our booth, started 2 do our "duty"..After e refreshment, went back 2 sch..hmm, tis time round e bus is smaller..haha..On e way back,everyone started 2 play 'Hu wanna b a millionaire" Gameboy version..Haha..After reaching sch, went 2 Pizza hse..Soon, Pear join us..Borrow Pizza Gameboy & played Pokemon Silver..Super addicted..cant stop playing.. haha..After tat, went 2 Vista point 2 eat..Sit dere chit-chat awhile then went hm..

Sometimes, juz hope tat thing can be more simple & nt so complicated..1) Really dunno wat u're thinking..hope 2 understand u more bt sometime i myself is also very troubled..Tell me wat should i do so tat i can understand u, like wat i did in e past? I feel tat u're overly-stress, bt u keep denying wat else can i say? Hmm..Dun wish tat e P's Family will b seperated.. 2) I tried smsing u, bt u dint even react 2 it..r u trying 2 prove tat we can no longer restart? if tat's e truth, then i'll delete ur no. & wont disturb u anymore.. :(

My life is....

2006-09-22T20:45:00.000+08:00

Hmm, 2day didnt went 2 sch..Wake up at ard 1pm..Then went 2 Pear's hse..Played Mahjong.. Dunno y suddenly feel headache then play e mahjong like keep on & on losing..At abt 6.30pm, went walk 2 Vista point wif Pizza, Pantao, Peach & Papaya..Reach Vista, Papaya went hm.. The rest of us went up 2 Viva foodcourt 2 eat..

Tis few day, super tire..dun really wanna touch those stack of homework e teachers give..super thick..haiz..10 more days is N lvl Eng Paper..e day after next is Geo & Math paper 1..Haiz.. Am i able 2 score an A1 for my math? Tat is really a qns i should start 2 think..Currently suspecting someone did something..Cant imagine if everything happened bcoz of 1 sentence tat person said..I hope is really i'm sensitive..Ytd, tok 2 YL abt alot on bible stuffs.. she really taught me alot of thing..Really appreciate it.. :)

Tml, have 2 reach sch at 6.30am..Hmm, after sch maybe will b going 2 library..Really gotta brush up on my Math!! And i'm super SERIOUS abt it!! haha..

Guilty

2006-09-21T17:49:00.000+08:00

Today, is a scary day..half unlucky, half lucky..Early in e morning after flag raising, our class are asked 2 stay back..Then, later e 6 of us hu run away frm sch de was asked 2 write a report on ytd incident..hmm..Waited & waited 4 a long time 4 our DM 2 tok 2 us..Alot of teachers pass by us, was like quite shock 2 noe tat we run away from sch..They dun believe we run away..haha..

After while, VP come 2 tok 2 us, Leong & Pantao lao pa keep on like explaining y we "run"..They sabo in Loh & Z..e rest of us only at dere keep quiet listen 2 them toking..After recess, David come can find us ask us is it we sabo Loh, we say yes..He told us e consequences if VP was 2 check e whole matter out..he told us Loh might b retrench..we was all like so guilty..So when it's finally our turn 2 go in c e DM, VP super cute, she was like keep on joking & keep on helping us say wat we seem 2 b like a bunch of gd student..dun deserve too harsh punishment..haha..Then, Leong & e rest of us like tell VP & DM, everything is our fault dun blame Loh..etc..Then, VP say she wont do nth & DM say he was touched by us 4 we're such a caring student..Wahaha..So both of them gif us e lowest rank of punishment..1 hr detention..

After tat, went back 4 POA lesson..e teacher release us earlier..bt later we saw Busri, he say we're nt allow 2 go back hm so early..Thila was damn angry wif us..We almost make her get scolding frm VP 4 going hm earlier..Haiz..Guess our class is kanna like down of luck recently..bt nt really tat unlucky at least we didnt really get those hash punishment lor..Counted as lucky liao..haha..Saw M outside e staffroom after sch..feel quite guilty 2 sabo her BF lor..haiz..Though i'm nt e 1 who Sabo bt dunno la..juz feel guilty..haiz..if Loh tell her we're e 1 hu sabo him, M will definately b very disappointed wif me de..Bt at least we did our best 2 help Loh le lor..at least he'll nt b retrench..Tat is e best we can do le lor..if he fail 2 c it & still wanna say we sabo him then dere is nth i can le isnt it? Plus, tis is nt e 1st time M is disappointed in me le..haiz..nvm ba..4get it..Thank God 4 everything 2dae.. :)

Class Photo Taking

2006-09-20T15:49:00.000+08:00

Today, dun really wanna go 2 sch..bt end up still go 4 e sake of e class photo taking..hmm, after taking e class photo, Pantao, Pizza, Papaya, Pear, Leong & me decided 2 "run" away sch..Went 2 recess, then went back 2 class 2 pack our bag..Bt by e time we pack finish, teacher already come le..so we decided 2 "run" during our Geo Period..

Actually, cant be counted as "run"..Bcoz only left wif 2 more period..Geo & MTL..is like Geo e teacher everytime slp, didnt teach us..only gif us worksheet..MT exam finish liao, nw everytime MTL is like free period lor..So we decided 2 "walk" out of sch..Our classmate are all waving goodbye 2 us from e classroom..Later reach hm, Pizza told us Peach say Loh took down our name..was feeling quite afraid..bt after e 6 of us had a conference on e phone, i dun really care tat much..Plus, dere is nth much i can do isnt it? Pantao & Pizza say tat if Loh sabo us, they'll also sabo him by saying tat he always slp in class..haha..Evil huh?

Sometimes, i kanna reflect..Ppl in tis world like 2 sabo here & dere..hu noe 1 day, it might be ur most trusted friend hu sabo u or even betray u? haha..it's unpredictable..tat's y dere is a chinese saying: Fang ren zhi xin bu ke wu..Guess, is also like since Loh wanna sabo us then we shall show no mercy 2 him too..Bt if i was given a situation whether 2 betray my friend & 2 defend myself, i wont sabo..bt a teacher is nt a friend..so it's totally a diff case..Esp after tat day, i learnt my lesson..nt 2 defend or try 2 b nice 2 a teacher..End up e 1 hu suffer is u, urself..isnt it true enough? haha :)

Overslept

2006-09-18T17:35:00.000+08:00

The video above is a video on Di Di Da Da..my little brother..Video taken by my cousin, Ah girl jie jie.. :)

Hmmm, today dint go 2 sch, cause i overslept..haha..heard tat Papaya was sick..so poor thing..haha..Papaya faster get well ya..if nt, i cant bully you liao..hah..Joking Joking..Hmm, recently nth much 2 blog..My life is quite peaceful..haha..Bt someone seem 2 b like avoiding me lei? Whenever i online, tat someone will immediately go offline..Luckily today, tat someone didnt go offline..haha..bt I also never tok 2 tat someone..haha..too lazy 2 start a conversation..nvm..forget it.. :)

"Family Outing"

2006-09-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..Today, Papaya (Rui) wake me up at 12pm..Chat wif her till 12.30pm..Then went 2 CWP meet up wif Pizza (Eric) & Pantao (Joseph)..Though, i was late..bt i'm nt e last..coz Papaya, Pear (Ping) & Peach (Qx) was later than me..haha..We sit MRT 2 Marina Bay..hmm, went 2 e arcade..haha..Played lots of game including my fav. Car Racing!! haha..Play wif Papaya, Pizza & Pear..I came in 1st..haha..Hmm, wanted 2 go eat steamboat bt it havent open so, we walk 2 e nearest Bowling Centre 2 watch ppl play..Ard 4.50pm, we walk back 2 e steamboat dere..

Started 2 find a table 2 eat..Everyone pass me e $$ 2 pay 4 e steamboat..I use e ticket 2 exchange some crabs & prawns 4 them..After i recieve e crabs & prawns, i started 2 scream..haha.."they" are still moving lor..Super FRESH..lol..Everyone was looking at me..super embarrassing..Pantao say he wanna eat crabs..So me & Papaya & Pizza went 2 kill "them"..At 1st, i was quite afraid..bt after i saw them killed it, I try..I took e knife & "KACHA!!" split it into 2..poor thing..haha..Guess, i've phobia eating beef..Tat Papaya keep on cooking 4 me..i eat 2 full plate of BBQ beef..While eating, Pantao super cute..tell us how he & Pizza get married..etc..lol..

After eating, we all decided 2 walk back 2 e Mrt Station..Pantao super bad..keep on scaring Pear & Peach..haha..Walked 4 abt 1 hr & finally we reach e MRT station..Everyone was tire..so we cancel e trip 2 esplanade..Along e way back hm in e MRT, Pantao & Pizza keep on bullying us..so bad..haha..Enjoyed today e "Reunion Dinner" bt Pineapple (Rin), my daughter is nt wif us..sad..haha..Ytd, tok 2 Papaya abt some stuffs..quite sad..bt she never failed 2 make me laugh..haha..ABC & Passer-by.. :)

Quiz

2006-09-15T20:21:00.002+08:00

Name twenty people you can think of right now.
Dont read the question(s) until you've named the 20 people.
At the end of this, choose five people to do this.

1. Rui ying
2. Erin
3. Liping
4. Qingxiu
5. Suzhuang
6. Panying
7. Emmeline
8. Huilin
9. Kaiying
10. Tingyuan
11. Tian Tian
12. Hwee Sian
13. Eric
14. Brandon
15. Joseph
16. Yujie
17. Leong kiat
18. Janice
19. Leroy
20. Benjamin

Did i meet 14?
--> My sec 1 classmate..currently my big brother..

What would i do if i never meet 1?
--> My life will be super unlucky..she is simply my Lucky star.. :)

What if 9 and 20 dated?
--> NO WAY!! That will be a world nightmare..Burp**

Would 6 and 17?
--> Nt tat sure..Bt up 2 them..haha..Joking Joking..

Describe 3 .
--> Erm..my friends eversince Primary sch..Cute & nice person 2 be wif..

Describe 7 .
--> We Both love 183club song!! haha..hmm..a very tall girl..cute & fun 2 b wif..She simply love the Cheese sauce of Long John Silver..

12 family members?
--> Nt tat sure..bt i know she gt 1 sister, 1 father, 1 mother..

What will you do if 18 confesses that he/she like you?
--> Tat's impossible..we are nt les..bt if play play, i still can accept..haha.. :p

What language does 15 speak?
--> Broken Hokkien..Broken English..Chinese still passable..haha..

Who is 9 going out with?
--> No one..

How old is 16?
-->16 years old

When was the last time you spoke to 13?
--> Juz nw..lol..conference together wif Ruiying..haha..

Who is 2 favourite band/singer?
--> Alot..Hmm..Hong Jun Yang, Superband J3, Jay chou..etc

Would u ever date wif 4?
--> No..Her heart is somewhere else..haha..

Would you ever date 1?
--> No..She is my "grand-daughter"..My "daughter" will kill me if she know i date wif 1..haha..

Is 19 single?
--> Ya..

What's 10 last name?
--> Yuan

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?
--> No..Haha..bt she is my best pri sch friend.. :)

school of 3
-->Christ Church Sec.

Where does 6 live?
--> LOL..hmm..nt really sure lei..Somewhere in woodland..

What's your favourite thing about 5?
--> Hmm, She is a gd listener..

Have you seen 2 naked?
--> Wahaha..Of course NO!!

5 ppl to do it! Tian Tian, Suzhuang, Panying, Hwee sian, Janice.. :D

Rainy day..

2006-09-14T17:51:00.000+08:00

Today, alot of teacher never come, so there was lots of free period..hmm, suppose 2 b a long day..bt the teachers release us earlier..hmm..So after sch, went 2 e canteen 2 eat..After eating, saw e weather seem like it's gonna rain soon..so walk 2 vista point wif Rui, Ping, Rin, Qingxiu & Kaiying..Hahah..Rui & Ping so bad..keep on bullying me..haha..Have lots of laughter during e "walk".. :)

Board e 900 bus, immediately after we board e bus, it's started 2 rain..Reach my Blk downstair, stand in e rain 4 a while..Somehow, some memories remain untouchable in my heart & it's nw still in my heart..Tat moment, something/someone seem 2 b very close 2 me yet i noe, it's actually very far away frm me..And i noe, forever dere will b a distance btw us after tat incident.. Slowly, i close up my eyes, enjoy e rain drop 4 a while..Suddenly, i feel a "coldness" in my heart..A "coldness" which no 1 understand..So cold, so sad.. :(

Haiz..dun feel like going 2 sch tml bt need 2 go as i havent hand in e edusave form 4 e elective module..haiz..Browse thru e timetable, all e lesson tml seem 2 b super boring..haiz..Tml will juz b another boring day..

Skip sch...

2006-09-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

Hehe..Today never go 2 sch..cause i oversleep..hmmm..Then went 2 e library..Saw Eric...Soon, Emmo, Qingxiu & Ping join us in e library too..Eric leave at abt 2.30pm..Ping & me leave at 5.30pm..hehe..Really cant imagine i spent e whole 4hrs excluding my breakfast time & lunch time juz 2 do my MATH!! Hmm..Nw, having a super big headache..haha..Do too many Math qns liao..

Found out tat my math deprove a lot..Hmm, is it bcoz my motivation was gone? haiz..Hope tat i can faster forget abt tat incident ba..hmmm..Some time, some past, i really wish i can forget.. :(

I cant make it..

2006-09-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

Ytd
Nth much happen, went out wif my father 2 eat..After tat, went 2 KTV till 3 plus then reach hm..Reach home, do nth except sleeping..

Today
Wake up abit late..bt reach sch on time..After MTL, helped Z 2 take e newspapers down 2 e staffroom..never tot tat i'm so "lucky" saw M walking out frm e staffroom & i feel tat i still dunno how 2 face M..haiz..Recess time, lost my appetite again..haiz..( i tot it's back 2 normal )..Perhaps dere is something i cant let go ba..I feel e "sadness" whenever i saw M..Hmm..Guess, i also cant face :: ba..Haiz..Sometime, something can b force..right? hmm..I juz cant make it..haiz..How can i be normal & friend :: back if next time when i see her, she remind me of tat moment she "betray" me? Things can never be back 2 normal..I choose 2 b a selfish person..4 :: sake & 4 my own sake..haiz..

Back to normal?

2006-09-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

Today, wake up in e morning, went 2 library at 1pm..Put my bag on the table, went 2 eat Mac wif Qx..haha..After eating Mac, went 2 CWP 2 buy a Plastic bag..Shop almost e whole Shopping centre 4 it..haha..Then went back 2 study..Study till half-way, Eric told me a girl look like me..so out of curious, went dere 2 have a look..& really 95% we look alike..haha..Same height, Same hairstyle & wear spec too..hehe..Ya..Tat end our craps, went back 2 study..Left library at abt 5.10pm..Meet Py outside KFC, pass her e present..We chatted 4 a while..Then went hm..

Reach hm, saw e email & offline msg..Hmm..Be back 2 normal? hmm..quite tough..bt can try? Haiz..Dun really pin high hope in it too..So many thing happen during tis 1 week hoildays..Nw when finally everything is "solved", my hoildays is also ending soon..haiz..The thinking of going back 2 sch make me....4get it..dun tok abt it..haha..Tok 2 rui online..super happy..she coming back tml night..miss her..hmm..miss her sweets..bt she say she nt giving me..hump.. sad..haha..

Finally, i'm alright..really..So many things happen..Think thru alot of thing too..Though i dun like e ending M have given 2 me, bt i learn 2 respect her decision..Tis few days have been rainning & my heart is filled wif Sadness..bt wat done cannot be undone..I'm hurt & i need time 2 'heal' my 'wound' too..Everything was back 2 normal nw except my heart tat is filled wif tat sentence M told me..haiz..Bt at least tis time my appetite was really back.. :)

Really very sorry

2006-09-08T16:49:00.000+08:00

I dunno whether u will be here to see my blog, maybe u wont..bt juz wish 2 say sorry..really very sorry..ytd, i was really nt in a gd mood & i did drink abit..tat y, i throw my temper on you..My tone, wasnt gd..bt 1 thing which is true is, i really dun like the tone u use on me..Bt nvm..it's over..if u can forget then gd..if u cant then too bad.. :(

Today, wake up wif a headache..then went 2 sch 4 e chem remedial..Late for 20min..Mrs Devan treat whole class Pizza..Yummy..bt i didnt eat alot..only eat 1 piece..nt in a gd appetite.. hmmm..mind went blank went she ask me 2 ans qns..After rememdial, went 2 Ping hse..hmmm, everyone playing mahjong..Hehe..me take tis time 2 use her com..hmmm..After blogging, will join them too..Shall blog again when i reach home..bt most probably wont blog..

Anyway, 4 e person whose birthday is on 13/9/06, pls kindly sms me e time when u are free when sch re-open abt ur birthday present..If nt, i'll ask ur friend 2 pass 2 u..

Juz a nightmare..

2006-09-07T16:24:00.000+08:00

Ytd night didnt slp at all, midnight 3 plus doing some "typing work"..then 4 plus, off my com wanted 2 slp bt cant slp..So listen 2 FM 933..Ya..so i listen, listen, listen..was abt 2 slp liao then suddenly heard e DJs saying Gd morning..nw is 7 plus am..etc..I was like dot dot dot..Then slp 4 awhile, after an hour plus, heard e DJs say again nw is 8 plus am..i was like..ok la..might as well dun slp le..so wake up..stare at e photo album 4 abt 30 min..open it..look thru every single photo i took 4 e past few year..Stare at 1 page 4 a long long time..

Decided 2 switch on e com..read some stuffs..reply some stuffs & nw, hopefully everything is solve..Then went 2 sch, intended 2 study bt no mood..so went 2 sci lab wif Eric 4 a while we went 2 library..Eric wanted 2 study bt no place..haha..so we went eventually went hm..Wanted 2 slp bt cant slp..dunno y..hmm..gonna have dark dark eyes soon..hmmm..i perfer 2 b a piggy than a panda lor..haiz.. :)

Guess, 4 so many years, tat is e only "mature" thing i do in my life..Really tis few week is like a nightmare 2 me..alot of thinking come into my mind & was really guilty 4 alot of thing..Ask me whether i'm alright anot, i'll say nt sure..Nw finally 1 problem solve liao..Feel abit more relieve?! Sorry 2 get so many ppl involved..& many ppl are sad juz bcoz of me..Really sorry..U noe hu, hope u're better right nw liao..Everything was settled "peacefully" isnt it? Life is like tat..look at e positive side & u'll find tat nth can really b tat "serious" ya? Let e past b e past..ya? Ur "smile" can make others more happy..dun u realise it? Dere is some stuffs, if it's hurtful then learn 2 forget it..ya? Move on.. :)

N lvl SS paper

2006-09-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, Today is N lvl SS paper & Chinese LC..SS was hard, LC was tricky..Went 2 Sharon hse wif Janice 2 study SS bt end up we tok abt e Bomb Shelter built in HDB flat..haha..And it's totally out of SS topic..haha..So we decided nt 2 study liao..keep toking abt e Shelter..At times i wonder if the Shelter can be built up by nets so tat e net can prevent e bomb frm dropping.. haha..Super Funny..

After the SS exam, went 2 Vista point 2 eat..haha..sit dere,chit chat..Read newspaper..Lots of news..Most shocking is tat guy who kanna killed by e Stingray..Haiz..So poor thing..Super unlucky,e stingray poke it's tail ( i think) thru his heart..Haiz..Ppl juz die unexpectedly..sad.. Forget it, let's tok abt something better..

Finally, my N lvl exam is counted as 1/4 over..e next examination is on e Oct..Guess, today & tml muz really SLP!! I havent been sleeping well tis few days due 2 e exam..Muz relax & Rest!! haha..I need a gd slp 2 repair my brain cells..The day after next, muz start 2 study again liao..haiz..super stress..

N lvl chinese paper

2006-09-04T14:56:00.001+08:00

Today, is our 1st N lvl paper..Chinese Paper 1 & 2..hmm..Today, my brain is functioning well..My appetite is also very gd..haha..In a gd mood too..Maybe bcoz chinese paper is over le ba..hehe..1 less sub 2 study..Ytd, super tire study until 1 am..Bt effort not wasted..

Though i think e paper is counted as easy bt i dun pin high hope in it..haha..Cause at times "Xi wang yue da, shi wang yue da.." Shall b quite contented so long as i get a C5 liao..bt best is of course a A1 la..haha..Anyway, like Z says, it's over..muz RELAX..haha..Guess, i use too much of my brain cells liao..tat is y i'm very hungry..eat a plate of rice & CHOCOLATE!! haha..Havent been eating so "peacefully" eversince tat day liao..God is really super wonderful..Ytd night, i pray tat God will gif me wisdom 2 do my paper & put all my troubles aside..& 2dae while doing e paper, i really focus well..Though i still make some careless mistakes bt tat is human nature isnt it? haha..

Ya la.. while doing my paper 2, i did stare at e paper 4 abt 5 min plus bt then i quickly re focus in doing e paper again..Can say, nw it's really tough 4 me 2 really like focus in my exam..Bt i did my best 2 put tat matter aside liao..So dere is nth much i can do if my mind suddenly think of tat incident again..At least, it gif me some time 2 do my paper..wat's more can i ask 4? How do ppl define "happiness" ? Does "gd mood" = "happy" ? i'm nt sure..bt i noe even if i am in a gd mood, "happiness" is definitly still nt wif me..haiz.. :(

Hmm..Tml is our "fav." SS exam paper..Bt since tis is e final lap 4 tis year..so no matter wat, i'll " chong"..haha..Chong dao ming tian!! GO GO GO!! everyone buck up!! :)

Different Mood..

2006-09-03T14:58:00.000+08:00

Today, is juz another day 2 pass..didnt went out of my hse..Lost my appetite again..haiz.. Morning till nw, only had a packet of Milo..haiz..Used 2 hrs plus 2 finish a packet of 250ml Milo..haiz..Pathetic..I tot my appetite is back bt today it's gone again..

Currently studying 4 my social study..Nth get into my mind..Guess tis time sure fail..Tml N lvl chinese..Can say, i also forget wat Z taught us ytd liao..my mind is block..haiz..Dunno whether can i get an A1 for my Chinese paper anot..nw, nth get into my mind..Neither can i get rid of wat's in my mind..haiz..No mood 2 study..haiz..bt wat 2 do? SS paper is on tis Tues..hope i can at least squeeze 1 chapter into my mind..No mood 4 everything..Still havent buy the transparent zip-bag 2 put my stationary..Still havent top-up my stationary..everything is nt prepared yet..haiz..dunno how 2 sit 4 my N lvl paper tml..haiz..Guess, will get a B, C or even U 4 my Chinese paper liao..haiz..no more A...haiz..Sad..

PATHETIC!!! :'( :'(

Metal block

2006-09-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm, today super tire..wake up early in e morning went 2 sch & found out tat everything went wrong..Brought my wallet bt forget 2 bring along my $$..so rush 2 my mother work-place take money from her..Saw a bus, bt it didnt stop 2 let me went up..supposingly, i shouldnt b late 4 SS remedial bt end up, i'm late..haiz..After SS, went 2 Chinese Remedial..Guess, Z didnt realise it..e topic she says make me recall of wat happen tat day..well, should say tat my mind was fully covered up by tat matter..e moment, i went into e sch, tat matter seem like re-playing in front of me..haiz..How should i put tat into words? Sort of like recalling everything..

After Chinese remedial went 2 CWP 2 eat Long John Silver..Glad 2 say, my appetite was back..Though nt really back 2 normal bt at least manage 2 finish my set of meal..Didnt really have e mood 2 study so today dint go 2 e library..so tot of coming back & slp..bt e moment when i close my eyes everything was flash back..haiz..Saw someone blog, can see she is on her way of recovering..I'm "glad" 4 her..Cant say happy..cause nw, i already dunno wat is e meaning of "happy" le..Guess, everything will b back 2 normal 4 her ba.. :)

Havent been having a gd slp eversince tat day..Guess, i'm having some mental block right nw..Hope tat they are alright by nw liao..Wat else can i do except praying 4 them? I'm juz tat useless..As useless as b4..haiz.. :(

Now that she's gone

2006-09-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

I dunno wat's more i can say or do..Ytd, is probably e worst day of my life..I've done something, i noe i'll b sad abt bt it's e 1st time, i feel tat i'm doing e right thing..Today, I totally lost my appetite..In fact, i'm kinda forcing myself 2 eat down e whole plate of noodle tis afternoon..Then i only had a waffle 4 my dinner..

I cant slp thru out e whole of ytd..Many ppl comfort me, tell me dun be sad bt i was really hurt.."U've 2 noe tat teacher & student should keep a distance.." Tat sentence hurts..Every moment when i closed my eyes, every single word said by "her" keep repeating inside my mind..Nw, i feel as if i'm like a bird without her wing..a fire without it's flame..I'm no longer e person i used 2 b..Too many thing happen..i cant take it..Words really cant represent how i feel now..Ytd incident, tat face 2 face tok, it's like someone taking a brick & hit it against my head & at e same time, someone taking a very sharp knife & stab it into of my heart..i'm deeply hurt emotionally..Bt i noe someone was more hurt than me..Everyone of them have e right 2 say they're e victim except 4 me..i hope as time goes by, they will b betta..

i believe M, herself didnt noe tat her words was harsh on u..Watever she say, she dun mean it..at times, she is juz tat careless in e words she use..Hope :: wont be sad abt tat anymore..I really dunno wat words i can say 2 encourage e both of them..I cant lied 2 them saying tat i'm alright..bcoz tis incident was really "hurtfully"..I dunno how 2 b strong..Wat's done cannot be undone..I rather 2 b sad on my own than having others 2 b sad wif me..Dere is something :: dunno..eversince tat time, tat night when we tok abt cartoon character, i already treat :: as my buddy le..Tat's why everytime when i'm in troubles, i think of calling :: first..I'm feeling hurt now & if i were 2 see my buddy sad bcoz of me, i'll feel more hurt..Will pray 4 them 2 b betta emotionally ba..Leave me alone 4 ur own gd.. :'(

Up & down Feeling

2006-08-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

Haiz..Today, in a super bad mood..In class, Joseph they all keep on miss call me..make me super irritated..Chinese lesson, Teacher too angry wif us, refuse 2 teach us..haiz..Still gt lots of problems..really i'm tire..I dunno how 2 say..have reflected 4 wat has happen tis year..Many thing really make me start 2 think.."is tis e life i wan 2 led?"..Haiz..today, do something wrong again..I feel super bad abt it..

Well, i gotta say tis wif no mean of offence..U noe i dint mean it..yet, u're still angry wif me..i tot u understand me..yet, u prove me wrong..I really feel very tire 2 carry on like tis..Perhaps we are juz nt "suitable"? I really feel lots of pressure..At times, i really qns myself how we get along wif each other..If being friend wif each other, gif each other so many misunderstanding, pressure, then might as well gif each other a BREAK? Let's juz gif each other some times 2 focus in our exam ba..Also gif us some time 2 reflect on tis friendship lor..U feel guilty abt tat matter..I also dun feel gd e whole of today..Maybe we juz have too much gap le? i dun wan carry on as i find it really it's tough..Maybe I juz dun understand u well enough..

I'm really very tire..dun wish 2 say more..If u wan 2 b angry then go ahead ba..i really need a BREAK!! :'(

Super tire

2006-08-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

Today, is a tiring day..never in my life i'm so tire b4..Wake up at 11 plus today..went 2 library 2 find Janice they all..haha..Then started doing e Math Paper 1 given out by Mr lim on friday..haha..At ard 3.20pm, i left the library & went 2 Vista point..went dere 2 eat my fav. noodle..& wait 4 Mdam Giam 2 arrive..haha..

Together wif Arvin, 3 of us went 2 e photo taking..e ppl dere are super kinda funny..keep making us laugh..e camera-man keep on asking us 2 SMILE...& SMILE WIDER..my mouth was super tiring..then also muz remain at e pose they pose 4 us 4 quite a long time..My hand is super tiring too..Then, during e final pose, we are asked 2 say " YEAH" & "WOW"..haha.. & whole event was like 1 hr 45 plus min? juz 4 tat 4 pose..can u imagine how long we have 2 "freeze" for every pose? wah..super pathetic..haha..Then when everything come 2 an end, gt 1 person say i've a gd smile..i was like..dot dot dot.. No energy 2 smile back 2 him liao..wahaha.. Guess, will be recieving tat calander Oct ba? hope so..wahaha..

Hmm, after tat, went back 2 e library..as i'm too tire, i decided nt 2 study liao..so i go there tok wif erin & ping..haha..haiz..i'm nt sure whether have i hurt Z anot..she seem 2 b very fine 2 me? Ytd, she didnt told me she was sad or wat, she say everything as per normal..nth to be embarrass abt? ya..i tot everything was fine?! I never know tat clarifying the truth will hurt her..haiz..i dun mean 2 hurt..once again i hurt another person..Can i do anything 2 mend it back? Who can help me?

Stupid Man

2006-08-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

Today, tat man in my hse pretend 2 die..Then my mother pretend 2 b anxious..keep calling his name..At 1st, i very worried, wanted 2 cal e ambulance..My mother keep on ask me 2 call him "daddy" or wat..bt i refuse..after 10 min of pretending, he finally laugh out..I find him super childish..How old liao? Wanna die also dun die in my hse lor..I'm nt trying 2 b cruel or wat..I was really worried 4 him..bt never imagine he fake me..hoping tat i'll cal him "daddy"..FAT HOPE!! Super not in gd mood liao..Then nw, still kanna trick by them..haiz..

Juz nw, tok 2 Z, clear everything out..Nw, we are only St***nt & Te***er relationship..Quite relieve tat Z understood my situation..Still sad over ytd thing..Who should i trust? haiz..SZ was right, i trust others too easily liao..I really feel very guilty..I dunno wat i can do 4 M, except asking myself 2 accept other friend..which i really cant..Today, purposly tok & get close 2 Z in front of M..I dun feel tat gd..Bt isnt tis e only way 2 let everyone think tat i let go of M liao? I dunno wat 2 do..in fact i'm lost..SZ was right lor..i'm selfish..i actually make use of Z..bt nw, i wont le..cause i tok things out wif Z le..As 4 M, perhaps like wat SZ said, time heals..haiz..Hope so..

2006-08-22T22:11:00.000+08:00

Dint intend 2 blog today..As dere is nth much..so i went around browsing thru others de blog..Saw someone blog..Guess, everything had change le ba..Last time, we are still friends tat can tok everything on earth..things like cartoons, song, Tv drama..etc..bt nw, become stranger le..It's my fault..Bt i never regret doing tat..Juz hoping tat it can help "her"..

Forget abt those unhappy stuff..Tok abt something else ba..Guess wat, i PASS my Geo..tat mean, my combine humans i PASS!! 1st time, super happy..though nt perfectly well done..bt at least better than nth..right? haha..Super happy..Tml, Madm Fong coming to our class..so scary..hope tat our class will behave properly..haha..Still waiting 4 my POA result..Someone once say if i pass, she wanna treat me eat de..if i fail, i'll have 2 treat her..though nw, nt friend liao..bt guess, it's something tat can motivate me ba..Hu knows, 1 day, Miracles might happen between me & tat someone..

Tis few days, dint saw M..Wonder how is M & tat someone liao? hoping tat everything is fine.. :) today, cut short everything..shall end here..super short ya? haha..

Normal day

2006-08-21T20:56:00.000+08:00

Haha..Today, Nth happen..tat is why i'm happy..No la..Actually partly also bcoz of my Exam result..Guess wat? I finally pass my Social Study..not a excel grade bt still at least a pass..First time, I pass..super happy..Then, Math..I get 78/100..quite contented le..Dint aim high in e 1st place..Paper 1 help me 2 pull up..Finally, i still fulfil my promise..phew..haha..Sad 2 say, i fail my Eng paper 2..haiz..Gotta work-harder..bt can anyone tell me how 2 score well 4 Eng? haiz..Tis time, sure die..haiz..My chinese also deprove alot..will work even more harder..Will be studying starting from TML!! Tat is my promise towards myself..Have 2 work even harder than prelim in order 2 score well!!

N lvl in 2 weeks time..Gotta make full use of it..Dun wan tis 2 b my final-round of examination in sch..So, hope tat God can gif me e wisdom, knowledge & paitent 2 pass thru tis difficult time.. :) Oh ya, tat everyone can score well 4 either their O lvl prelim, Common test & also N lvl..haha..

My super ex-girlfriend

2006-08-19T20:06:00.000+08:00

Today, Rui Birthday..heehee..Go out wif her 2 watch a Movie cal My Super ex-girlfriend..We are late 4 Movie 4 abt 8 min plus..haha..bt after all e movie is still quite nice..laugh like mad..esp e last part, e animation..haha..super cute..G-girl, haha..superb!! haha..Then after tat, went 2 arcade 2 play basketball, car racing...etc..haha..

Haiz..Yesterday, sms 2 M..hoping tat M can break the cold war btw them..bt M didnt really care abt wat i say..then today, keep telling Someone 2 break tat cold war, she say i bias towards M..i was like..Dot dot dot..dunno wat 2 say...feel quite sad..After all, i'm only trying 2 help..y everyone tot tat i'll make thing become worst..haiz..I didnt side anyone..i wanted 2 help both..quite sad..haiz..Forget it..dun wish 2 comment more.. Problems come after Problems..It's endless..Hope they can faster be like normal back lor..Wat can i do other than praying 4 them? haiz..tat someone, didnt make my day better or wat.. :(

Hope 1 day, they both understand, i mean no harm 2 them..DUN ever treat me like a dangerous person tat will harm them!! haiz..Tat someone should noe wat i mean..

Rui BP

2006-08-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today, went back 2 sch wif eric & rui..Then they went 2 take their Physic Mock Exam..so i went 2 e canteen 2 help Zila 2 set up e thing 4 e Party..Should b a enjoyable party..bt Sz sms me, she cried..haiz..feel sad..Found out frm her e person hu make her cry is M..was feeling really "HOT"..Luckily, Sz hold me..else i might have go & find M 2 tok things out..1st time i saw Sz cry.. really feel quite angry wif M..haiz..

The party, was super boring.. only Ben was wif me..Eric still having test, Brandon didnt come..e others, i dun noe them..haiz..Worst is, M is dere too..Too angry wif M at tat time..so purposely, M walk 2 take e plate, i walk 2 take e pizza..M went 2 sit wif Madam Giam they all, i ask Ben 2 sit somewhere else wif me..haha..lolx.. childish right? haha..bt i think i need 2 cool down too..tat might b a way 2 let myself cool down..After e party, went 2 Vista kitchen wif Rui & Eric 2 order e foods all tis..Go hm, went 2 see doc..Have high fever 38.9..Guess, i'm dying soon..nw betta le..haha..Sms M & Z..Finally, Half my troubles was gone..Z reply 2 me..we're like i say sorry, Z also say sorry..endless sorry lor..haha..bt i didnt reply Z..haha..M, as usual, didnt reply..hope M understand wat i mean..

Ard 6.30pm, reach Vista Kitchen..Started 2 eat..haha..e food super nice..Then eat eat eat, tok tok tok..After eating, went 2 Vista Park..Stay dere chit-chat a while, go 2 play the see-saw..haha..super long time never go dere liao..haha..After tat, hm sweet hm..Finally, juz wanna wish Rui a HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY!! haha..getting older liao..be careful of white hairs..haha.. :)

End of Prelim..

2006-08-17T13:36:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..Finally, Prelim OVER liao..super happy..Tis few days super tire..everyday slp ard 1am plus..Ytd, still gt sore throat..Guess, i'm dying soon liao..bt it get betta le..haha..Today, POA paper..Gonna fail with flying colours 4 sure..haiz..Pray tat i wont get F9..haha.. so long as i didnt get F9, i'm contented liao..so hard..haiz..Ytd, Math paper..Paper 1 still passable..bt Paper 2, sure die..haha..seem like i did badly 4 tis prelim..haha..maybe study too much le, my brain is nt functioning well enough..so i dun feel anything..haha..

Z is still having cold war wif me..dunno wat happen sia..i've been waiting for 2 days 4 Z 2 online..bt seem like Z dint even go online lor..Hope tat Z can faster go online, need 2 clear misunderstanding wif Z first..else everything will b like me & M like tat..so scary..Once is enough..haha..Tml, though no paper bt still have 2 go back 2 sch, Madam Giam they all having Party..see? i so gd..kanna invited..bt guess i cant eat anything lor..cause still having sore-throat..haiz..dere goes my pizza, chicken wing & coke..sad..

Later gonna slp for 15 hrs!! haha..muz rest in order 2 repair my brain cells..haha..also muz finish watching KO ONE Zhong ji yi ban..haha..Finally, i can rest le..i'm so touch..haha..haiz..need 2 start preparing 4 my N lvl examination 3 days later..muz start counting down again..super sad..haha..

SS Prelim

2006-08-11T18:44:00.000+08:00

Hmm, 2dae is kinda like a short day..haha..Had my ss paper..which i think tis time round wont fail until so badly?! haha..Hope can pass..O lvl MT Paper result was out,many of my friends score very gd..esp SZ..haha..Super happy 4 them..Went 2 Ping hse wif Eric & Rui..keep on playing Mahjong, i think we're addicted..I muz relax..Tml is Sat, i need 2 slp!! super tire..Ytd study SS until like 1am? ya..tat is a student life isnt it? Boring, Tiring..super pathetic..haha..

Phew!! Finally, i dun need 2 feel guilty le..cause Ping get A2...wahaha..Was feeling kinda relieve? haha..tat's gd..2dae nth happen..M didnt say anything 2 me due 2 tat sms..Guess, M is juz too disappointed 2 say anything 2 me le ba? bt i'm alright..Tat is wat i predicted earlier isnt it? The only thing tat shock me maybe is tat M highlighted her hair..Somehow, i feel M is no longer e person i know..M wasnt like tis in e past..Maybe wat is in e past is forever e past le..e distance btw us is getting further & further apart as times goes by..Guess, i'm nw learning how 2 adapt a "real" student life..Study first..True ya? :)

National Day

2006-08-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

Wahaha..2dae is National Day..Tok 2 Rui on e phone thru out e whole NDP Show..Super fun..haha..Laugh together like mad..Sing out e songs together..etc..haha..

Afternoon, went 2 Old Woodland Checkpoint wif Eric & Cynthia..Went 2 mac...intend 2 study then Eric ask Z 2 cal my hp..ask abt our Chinese Prelim result..Haiz..Everyone dint do very well..sad..I only get 40 plus upon 70 for my Paper 2..haiz..which is kinda low..Didnt expect tat type of result..After knowing our result, 3 of us kinda like no mood 2 study so we went 2 arcade 2 play..Cynthia played 1 game which is kinda cute..tat cartoon ghost look cute..haha..

I'm still feeling quite guilty over the Chinese Paper thingy..haiz..If she noe i'm e 1 hu make her cant score well, she will blame me 4 sure..haiz..She did badly is all because of me..haiz.. :(

Ytd night, saw e news..quite sad..Many countries started 2 have wars..haiz..Feel sad 4 e ppl..Hope tat e peace of God will always b wif them..Hmm, shouldnt tok much abt it..Finally, hope tat Singapore will remain Peaceful & united forever..Happy 41th Birthday 2 Singapore!! :)

My doubt is clear..

2006-08-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

My doubt is clear..If i've 2 make decision, i wont choose anyone..Both of them i also avoid..I think tis is the only FAIR way 2 them..Should end my "normal" Life & start a new life without any T-S relationship anymore..Guess life will be more easier 4 me & 4 them..i hope tis time round tis decision wont hurt anyone... :)

Speech day..

2006-08-08T14:39:00.000+08:00

2dae is full of surprise..Attended e Speech Day Ceremony..M also went up 2 receive an award..super shock when i heard M name..After tat, CCA grp went up 2 take their award..i was super scare until my whole hand turn cold..haha..Straight after Eric & me receive our CCA Cert, we have 2 go Q-up 4 e NYAA..I think i've stage fright..haha..

After e Speech day, when i walk out of e sch, wanted alot 2 sms M..even if it's juz a word "Congrats" bt dunno wat else 2 type..so keep asking Qingxiu they all should i sent anot..then tat "kind-hearted" Ping help me 2 press "ok"..& my msg was sent..Super shock!! Tis msg break my promise toward M..haiz..dunno is gd or bad..bt anyway, M didnt reply..haiz..Friday, let's hope nth will happen..Juz hope M dun get e wrong idea..

Reach hm wif mixed feeling..dunno wat 2 do..I broke e promise..M muz b very angry..haiz.. Then online, chat wif Z.. Hmm, Z say i dint do well 4 my Chinese e "Zao Ju"..haiz..get more depress..Broke my promise, dint do well 4 my Chinese..Wat a unlucky day..haiz..Once again, i saw e shadow of M in Z..Everytime when i tok 2 Z, Z remind me of M..haiz..I've 2 really start 2 avoid Z b4 everything goes e wrong way..If i carry on like tis, i noe i'll only take Z as a substitute which is very unfair 2 Z..Wat can i do other than avoid? How 2 forget someone whom u really care alot then treat is as nth & friend other Te***er ? e impact M left 4 me is juz too serious le..Hard 2 forget..haiz..

Full of worries..

2006-08-07T20:06:00.000+08:00

Wah..2dae almost late 4 sch luckily my sis wake me up..Rush down, thank God..e bus wait 4 me..Reach sch,thank 2 Mr azman..Actually e school gate closed le..he ask e uncle 2 open e gate..Super Lucky..ya? haha..

Hmm, 2dae Chinese Paper 1 & 2..haiz..Paper 1, nt very confident..Paper 2, Can bang my head against e wall..coz write e wrong " Cheng Yu "..Worst is my "Cheng yu" is make up of 2 diff "Cheng yu"..sad..2 marks gone..haiz..Tis time round surely get very lousy grade de..haiz..bt nvm..Finally, 2 important paper finish le..Friday, SS..dunno how 2 score...haiz..super pathetic..

Tml, Speech day..a event i hate most..muz sit dere very long..bt tis year, e feeling & thinking is diff..more 2wards anxious..hmm..i rmb, e only time i went 2 take prize during speech day was like when i'm Pri 5 !? haha..A very long time ago liao..tis is only my 2nd time..Really scare i'll do e wrong thing..Muz pray 4 God 2 gif me wisdom & peace.. :) :)

A day in library..

2006-08-06T19:20:00.000+08:00

2dae, went 2 library wif Rui, Eric, Erin & Ping..Saw Py & Kx..we sitted 2gether bt after a while, they left..Soon, Qx come & we all went 2 e lvl 7 foodcourt 2 eat..Rui they all so bad..say wat i can find my memories of ytd dere..haha..

After eating, we went back 2 e library..Rui & me walk here & dere..we settle down at e 4th floor wif Eric & Ping..hmm, sometime, i really believe in fate..haha..we saw tat "proud" girl & her friend again..haha..bt luckily, tis time round we dint sit wif her..Everything was fine, until Ben cal me..Haiz..was feeling really down..bt i hold on 2 my tears..So, i accompany Rui go buy tibit..Rui super gd..treat me chocolate..So i vent my sadness & anger by eating e whole packet of chocolate within 5 min..Finally, i feel better..Thanks Rui.. :)

M is juz a human afterall, y muz keep on saying M? I saw it, bt i did nth 2 help..i really feel very useless..i no longer fit 2 say anything..No longer fit 2 find tat key 2 open e door..I'm nt in any position 2 help..haiz..Had think thru it,wont let Z become a substitute..Dun wan more ppl 2 get hurt..If Z really treat me as friend, i'll make my stand clear wif Z..Dun wan Z 2 misunderstood..

Zhou Yu Bday Party

2006-08-05T20:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm, 2dae wake up at 1 plus..Meet Rui, Ping, Eric, Cynthia & Janice at CWP..Went 2 buy Z Bday present..A Star Necklace..very Beatiful..The uncle say left only 1..wahaha..After tat went 2 BK 2 eat..Leong join us, Janice go meet her friend..Rui, Ping & me chit-chat 4 a while..While Eric, Cynthia & leong went 2 buy e present they wanna gif Z..Then meet up wif Qingxiu & Erin..haha..

9 of us went 2 Z hse..super embrassing, we went 2 e Woodgrove Condo.. wait 4 Z 2 come down pick us..Later on, we found out we went 2 e wrong place..Z hse is opposite..So we quickly left tat place..Then, We reach Z hse..Z rm is small bt very comfortable..After viewing e rm,we all settled down at e Living Room..everyone super hardworking..Take out their MTL bk & started 2 ask Qns..After a while, Rui, Erin, Qingxiu, Ping & me went into Z rm 2 have our gal's tok..haha..

We walk out of e rm, Ping & Eric started watching Tv..Then, they started taking photos..haha..At ard 6pm, we went downstair 2 c wat 2 eat, bt we decided 2 go 2 CWP..After reaching CWP interchange, Leong went hm..Left wif e 8 of us..we went 2 lvl 7 e newly opened foodcourt..While going up 2 lvl 7, Z tok 2 me..Super scary..Z say will keep my msg..When we reach e foodcourt, Z & me go buy food..Z say wanna share wif me..I super shock!! I rejected Z..haha...After tat, i sit very far frm Z..haha..After eating, we all went back hm..Finally!!~Phew~

Chatted wif Qingxiu, I decide tat after 2dae, i wont sms Z anymore..Haiz..M still left a deep impact in me..I scare tat i'll take Z as a substitute 4 M due 2 my sadness..However, i'm very sure tat I'm nt ready 4 another T-S Relationship..i've no confident in a new T-S Relationship anymore..Once is enough..Plus, I'm nt ready 2 gif up on M..Anyway, hope Z like e presents..

[[ P.S : New Pics uploaded in "Photos"..Rmb 2 go & have a look..haha.. :) ]]

English Prelim

2006-08-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

Haiz..2dae english paper..i think tis time round sure fail le..Paper 1 make my head crack, Paper 2 make my head burst..haiz..sad..Paper 1, i scare i write out of point..Paper 2, i scare tat i did badly 4 my Past Tense & Present Tense..Worry 4 this, worry 4 that..Oh No!! Really scare tat i'll fail my eng..Nvm..it's over..

After sch, went 2 Ping hse wif Eric 2 play & relax..At around 5plus, Rui come 2 Ping hse and join us..yawn** no mood 2 play..only feel like slping..haha..hmmm, dunno y 2dae like nth 2 blog..oh ya..Tml morning, going 2 library 2 study chinese then afternoon going 2 Z hse 2 celebrate bday wif Z..Haiz..dun feel like going..i'm super tire..feel like slping at hm e whole day..haiz..

Found tat correct ans..

2006-08-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

Haha..2dae didnt go 2 sch..Stay at my cousin hse since ytd night..hmm, bt 2dae morning wake up very early 2 study..bt somehow cant get tat into my mind..i hate SS sia..haha..Then like study 4 awhile, slp..study & slp..haha..whenever i started reading my SS textbk, feel like slping..haha..Brought lots of sweet & chocolate back hm..haha..tml bringing "them" 2 gif my friends.. haha..

Recently, I've been toking 2 Z thru smsing..Is tis a start towards another T-S Relationship? I'm nt sure..Bt i hope nt..Once is enough..Plus, I only treat Z as a Te***er..Nth else..Perhaps can b counted as friend bt nt Close-friend..maybe becoz M is always dere wif me when i needed a pair of hearing ear e most..Therefore, i'm really feel very grateful & i really appreciate it alot..Tat is y i dun wan 2 let go ba..

From ytd till 2dae, i've been thinking of lots of thing..Found out wat is really troubling me tis few years..I noe wat make M disappointed in me & wat i need 2 do nw, is 2 concentrate in my Prelim & N lvl..After tat, i'll do wat i need 2 do..I dun wan 2 gif up on tis 1st T-S Relationship i had..i dun wan 2 gif up so easily w/o trying..

My Only Motivation...

2006-07-30T21:03:00.000+08:00

Cool..I've been studying 4 1 whole week..Weekdays + weekend..2dae, went 2 e library wif Rui & Eric..Went 2 e 4th floor, sitted wif 2 girls..1 of e girl is kinda like look down on us when she heard tat we are taking N lvl tis year..When we are toking abt Organic Chem, she proudly pretent toking 2 her friend say tat she only use 15min & she know everything abt e organic chem..Hu will believe her lor? Only noe how 2 lie..she super proud..Luckily, e other girl is much more betta..haha..After tat 2 girl go hm, chien ming & his friend join us..Only 4 a while, we all went hm..Haiz..At times, really i wonder y ppl like 2 look down on others..No 1 is perfect isnt?

Haiz..Though i'm still holding on..bt i noe N lvl is impt..if i carry on, nt focusing in my studies, I might failed my coming Prelim & N lvl wif flying colours..I'm trying very hard 2 walk towards my own target & M expectation..Once is enough..i dun wanna disappoint M again & of course, i wont wanna disappoint those hu care 4 me..Everything have 2 be put aside until my exam is over..If i sucessfully went up 2 sec 5, tat mean i'll have another yr of chance 2 find e key 2 open tat door? Ya..Guess tat is e only thing tat can motivate me nw.. :)

Tired..

2006-07-29T21:07:00.000+08:00

Today, wake up at ard 10 plus..tok 2 Rui on e phone..Meet Rui in CWP at 1.30pm inside Long John Sliver cause i havent eat my breakfast & saw Ping..Later on, Leong, Eric, Ping, Rui, Qingxiu, Janice & me went 2 library together..We seperate into 3 grp..Leong, Eric & Janice manage 2 get a place 2 sit so Rui & me, Qingxiu & Ping go book e Research Room..2 ppl 1 room.. I study my chem..haha..As e max. time we can book in e research room is only 2 hr, we had 2 leave e room at ard 4.15pm..

So Rui & me, went 2 e 4th floor of e library 2 find place 2 carry on study..Luckily, we manage 2 share table wif 2 unknown girl..haha..Then, i study abit of Math & started 2 go look up 4 Chinese bk 2 read..After an hour or so, Eric came up & find us, ask us 2 go down 2 e 2nd floor 2 join them..wahaha..We stopped studying at ard 6pm & started 2 chit-chat abit..Then, Rui accompany me went 2 CWP foodcourt 2 buy chicken rice & Long John Sliver 2 buy cheese fries..then i accompany her 2 B1 to buy bubble tea..Eric, Leong, Rui & me walk out of CWP..Saw a event going on out dere..e heading is "Jamming Up North"..Sound weird huh? haha..we watch e performance 4 a while then we went hm..

Hmm, next yr, Very few teacher will follow-up & carry on teach our class..many gd teacher leaving our sch..haiz..How i wish tat e teachers tat leave our sch is e 2 person whom 1 like 2 slp in e class & e other like 2 scold us stupid..etc..haiz..Y gd thing cant last 4ever? haiz..Hope tat we wont get tat type of teacher again..2 is more than enough..

Finding e key 2 open e door in her heart...

2006-07-28T19:03:00.000+08:00

2dae, is a "short" day..reach hm only at 6pm..wah..super tiring..went 2 sci lab juz nw 2 attend a so called "course" abt Fractional Distillation..After tat, we help Madm Giam 2 clear up..Then went 4 our fav tea-break..haha..we eat Banana Tarts wif ants..haha..Well, Ants are high in Protein..haha..gd 4 health..Actually, nt alot of ants la..Cause Madm Giam heated those tarts..Plus, Ants are nt stupid..they actually run away went they saw themselves going 2 become BBQ Ants..haha..

Tok 2 Benjamin at sch e 3rd floor staircase..I think i get e ans i wan le..M told Ben's mother tis : " Te***er should draw a line wif St***nt..etc..2 b frank,I once had a relationship wif a St***nt bt it end up turning sour..etc..I'm disappointed wif her..etc.." Ben told me, M shutted e door of M heart..haiz..Where can i find e key 2 open tat door? M wasnt like tis in e past..M used 2 tot tat even M is a Te***er, also can b friend wif St***nt.. Bt i'm tat person hu make M change e thinking..I really feeling very guilty & sad..

M is disappointed wif me..Plainly disappointed..M never once hate me..Yet my trust towards M is so unstable..I'm nt worth 2 b M's friend..perhaps, i should really go reflect on myself, my attitude & my behaviour..I'm nt going 2 gif up tis time round..even if e world tell me 2 gif up..i wont gif up..Dere is a chinese proverb goes like tis : " Jie Ling Ren Hai Xu Xi Ling Ren " & When translated 2 Eng it became :" Let him hu tied e bell on e tiger take it off "..I believe 1 day, i can find e CORRECT key & open tat door..

Chinese Oral

2006-07-27T18:13:00.000+08:00

Hmm, 2dae is a Rainy day..haha..Had my N lvl Chinese Oral after sch..Erm, Quite ok la..haha..nt really tat hard..bt also nt very easy..After tat, whole grp of us went 2 2nd floor, gather outside staffroom..Saw M..dunno y, suddenly bring up my courage..wanna say "hi" so i keep walking behind of M..dunno how 2 cal M..Keep on at e back saying:"Erm...Erm...Erm..." My voice like cant come out like tat..So i decided 2 back up..haiz..i'm such a loser..

Haha..Juz nw my hp suddenly switch off, i tot spoilt liao..so went 2 CWP 2 ask e Samsung Store de staff..End up, e staff told me : " ur hp low-batt.." Like Super embrassing.. haha..Thank God! My hp is nt spoilt..haha..& also thank God 4 my Chinese Oral..i tot it's super duper hard.. phew** Finally, both main sub de oral is over le..nw i can concentrate in my theory examination ..Everyone Jia you Jia you Jia you..Go Go Go.. :)

Haiz..Hope tat Sunday can come sooner..so tat i can slp..haiz..Saturday, still need 2 go library & study..Well, 4 e sake of my own future..no matter how hard, i'll also go 4 it..Never Gif up never say die!! :) :)

2006-07-26T18:05:00.000+08:00

Wah..2day super sad..Chem lesson kanna pinch ear by Mrs Devan..Actually, can say i deserve it..cause never revise her work..Hmm, tml muz get correct else..my ear gonna suffer again..
wahaha..haiz..still feeling super tired..Tests, Tests, TESTS!!..haiz..stress sia..

After sch, whole grp of us at canteen toking..then saw M walking down the stairs..then later on M walk in2 e canteen 2 tok 2 Ms Devi..M is juz beside of me..Super shock..so i quickly ask Rui they all 2 go out of sch..Then Kaiying, Rui, Rin, Qingxiu, Ping & me went 2 Vista 2 eat..haha.. Everyone of us keep on dicussing abt the Hp Model we like best..wah..i fall in love wif N6280.. haha..Super nice..bt very ex..haiz..After tat, Qingxiu accompany me 2 CWP 2 cut my hair..saw Eric & Janice so after cutting my hair, I joined them go 2 e library & study while Qingxiu go hm prepare 4 her tuition thingy..

I study 4 a while, then went 2 meet Qingxiu at Popular 2 buy assessment bk..Hmm, brought a Chem N lvl 5 yrs series bk..haha..Muz get prepare 4 tml..Else later kanna pinch ear again.. haha..My hair nw super SHORT!! I hate it..haha..bt muz set gd example 4 e oral examiners.. haha..tml N lvl Chinese Oral!! Hope everything goes well..Anyway, My cousin is back frm Switzerland tml..haha..Yummy..Chocolate from Switzerland..haha..super looking forward sia..bt no time 2 claim..Too bad..8 more days 2 e starting of Prelim & 38 Days 2 N lvl !! So scary..haha..

Are tis white lies gd or bad?

2006-07-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

Today is juz another normal day.. After sch, went 2 sci lab help Zila & Madm Chenni then go hm wif Rui & Eric..hmm..On e way 2 interchange, saw my old sch classmate, Huiwen..Chat 4 a while..She gave me her Contact no. so tat we can contact each other next time.. heehee..

"Someone" PM me when i reach hm.."Someone" decided nt 2 tell me abt tat thing..All along i've been waiting 4 e ans, bt tat 1 sentence frm "Someone" make me feel dis-hearted..haiz..And worst of all, "Someone" denied everything tat was written in "Someone" blog..And e reason "Someone" give is "juz coincidence".."Someone" says all those thing written in e blog is abt "Someone" friends nt replying 2 me..i was like WTH?! haiz..can see "Someone" is lying..Guess, "Someone" treat me like an idiot..ya? Even Qingxiu can see "Someone" is lying lor..haiz..Even wanna lie also muz find a better wan..all this is like so FAKE lor..How "Someone" expect me 2 believe? Haiz..bt i choose nt 2 force "Someone"..maybe "Someone" gt reason behind it ba..Can see "Someone" trying very hard 2 keep tat secret..

Act as if i believe tat "Someone" is wat i can do nw..Bt actually, even if tat "Someone" told me tat whole thing also no use..cause tat friendship no longer exist le..e misunderstanding btw M & me is becoming bigger & bigger..Keep asking myself, y bother since M dun gif a DAMN? Haiz..bt never once, i get e ans..Again, i'm feeling very Vexed & sad...

Sharon Bday

2006-07-24T17:27:00.000+08:00

After so much of encouragement & words of advise frm Rui & Qingxiu..Finally, i feeling better le..heehee..Hmm, recently quite busy..esp dere is so many thing we need 2 start prepare..really feeling very tire, teacher keep on reminding us tat our prelim is juz next Fri..haiz..Bt i think some teachers really overly-react..say until as if our prelim is our last "Journey"..wahaha..

After sch, went 2 soul garden wif Eric, Cheekoon, Cynthia, Janice & Sharon 2 celebrate Sharon bday..wahaha..then we saw a grp of Sec boys..Out of curious, we ask sharon 2 go ask them which sch they frm..they tot we wanna get their no. ..haha..come on..we are older than them lor..haha.. As we cant finish e foods, we decided 2 play "Zhong Ji Mi Ma"..haha..Eat until like super full..haha..After eating, we went 2 Popular.. wah..saw alot of gd assessement bks.. bt too bad..all of us broke..cant afford it..haiz..

Hmm, another 11 days 2 Prelim?! haha..i'm still nt prepare yet..bt starting 2 rush le..Though quite last min. bt like Mr Hock say, even till e last min, miracles can still appear..Hope so ba..haha..Saw M 2dae, i think e only thing tat is similar btw both of us nw is tat we tried 2 avoid each other ba..Pretend as we didnt see each other..I still care..bt i choose 2 care outside of M world..I really hope by acting "i dun care" in front of M..can make M feel betta.. :)

Ping bro bday...

2006-07-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm, 2dae went 2 sci lab after sch 2 attend e enrichment programme given by a NUS teacher..Well, i dun understand wat he say..haha..bt we manage 2 form e structure..After tat, while seperating e structure, i accidently get my wrist cut by e scissor..bt luckily it's only a minor injury..Then, Eric & me saw Madm Wan..she sent me all e way hm..so gd..

Eric in e interchange at 6.20pm..bt end up, both of us reach at abt 6.30pm..haha..We went 2 Ping's hse 2 celebrate her bro bday..Reach her hse, saw Rui, Ping, Joseph & Leong dere playing mahjong..Qingxiu playing Com..Then we all went 2 eat..e foods super nice..bt something make us lose appetite..haiz..Shan't tok abt it again..Later on, We drink abit of beer..Ping, Qingxiu & me share 2 can of beer..Didnt really drink tat much cause keep on pouring 2 Qingxiu & Ping..

Haiz..I'm still nt feeling any betta.. In fact, it's getting worst..i feel like giving up on myself..tis few days i feel horrible..bt i noe i cant..cause dere is many other ppl hu really care 4 me..if i gif up on myself, they'll b heart-broken..Everything has ended.. i still hoping i can be in my wonderland..Everything seem like a dream 2 me..when i wake up, everything is gone..my hope, my wishes, all gone..I noe M no longer trust me..Y cant M forgive me? m i really tat bad? Everything is my fault..Broken promise, broken trust, broken friendship................

Am i at fault..

2006-07-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

2dae, after sch, went 2 hall 2 rehearse 4 e speech day..hmm, since young, i dun like 2 attend speech day ceremony coz i really find it naggy & tiring..esp 2dae, alot of ppl get awards.. somehow, need 2 wait 4 a super duper long time 4 ur turn 2 go up 2 e stage & receive ur award..bt tis year betta..Eric, Aqilah & huiwen keep on joking & laughing..laugh like mad..haha..

Then Brandon, Cheekoon, Rui, Eric & me decided 2 go 888 2 eat KFC..Though i'm nt feeling well bt i still went dere 2 eat..We sat there for 2 hrs plus..Tok abt studies, which polytechnic we wanna go & of course, we chat abt wat happen when we're in lower sec..again we laugh & "argue" abt lots & lots of stuffs..heehee..

Ytd night, I tot i'll be having a sleepless night.. bt after i conference wif Zhou yu lao shi, eric & Rui..we all discuss abt our MTL thing..suprisingly, after toking 2 them, i feel very tire..nth come in2 my mind & i juz fall a sleep straight after tat..2dae, went 2 sch, saw M..bt i really feel no hurt at all..everything is juz as per-normal..I tot, i really gif up on M's friendship le.. It was only until e Speech day ceremony rehearsal..Though i'm nt getting Academic Award..bt i really hope tat M can come & c me went up 2 stage on e actual day 2 receive my NYAA Silver Award..bcoz i rmb i once promise M, 1 day i'll b a Friend tat M is proud of..I've given M too much promise..& nw, seeing tat i'm unable 2 fulfill all those promise, i really feel sad..Too much memories..Too much regret..When i get back hm, saw someone blog..Guess, M really told tat someone lots of things & it's really frm e bottom of M heart.. Bt all like wat tat person said.. it is all being left unsaid..Nw, i really feel tat everything is my fault..Frm e start, i shouldnt have hurt M so much..Protecting M is no longer a excuse..i choose 2 put all e blame 2 myself..

Beaten by the fact

2006-07-19T17:35:00.000+08:00

Haiz..2dae feeling abit sick..Physically sick..maybe emotionally too..dunno la..juz nt feeling well..

During Geo lesson, as usual, Mr L** ask us 2 copy & do e qns he wrote on e board..then he started walking ard e class 4 a while & he then take a chair, sit down & start 2 slp..1 of my friend, took out her cam.phone & took down a pic of him sleeping..Cant say tat we are naughty student.. Becoz we've been giving him lots of chances bt still everytime he came in2 our class, write qns on e board 4 us 2 do ourselves & he started sleeping..Worst still, he slp in front of e whole class.. MTL, Zhou lao shi so poor thing..Only a few ppl listen 2 her..She kinda disappointed wif our class..After sch, chat wif her 4 a while..Dunno how 2 comfort her..luckily Brandon join in e conversation & make her smile..

In front of my friend, i act as per-normal..laugh like crazy,play like mad..bt I'm nt ok..Nw, i dun even feel like seeing M in sch..how i wish, i can disappear whenever i saw M..Every single time i saw M, e pain was more hurtful..i think tis time i'm truly hurt by M..Esp when i c my care towards M is all being so called "rejected" by e attitude given by M..Suddenly, i feel I'm beaten by e fact tat tis friendship ended long ago..i'm nt sure wat M told tat person..bt i think it wont b a gd wan..I need time, a super duper long time 2 recover..Guess, 2day will be juz another sleepless night..haiz..Sobx Sobx.. :(

I feel sad

2006-07-18T15:49:00.000+08:00

2dae read Someone's MSN blog.. A very old post..Blogged during april..& found something.. true enough, it's hurtful..I dint noe really dunno wat is happening nw..I dunno e person hu change is me or M..Maybe, i'm e 1 hu changed..I tot, really tot, both of us is getting better right nw..bt i think its deproving like mad.. In btw us, is nt juz Misunderstanding & mis-communication..it is more 2 Nt trusting each other..

tis is part of wat e person blogged :
"...........oh no.. & e things tht person had blogged.. kinda made me even believe more in wad i've know.. bt, i jus nt in e position 2 talk & do anything.. i treated it as a misunderstanding & miscommunicated case at first.. bt aft reading e blog, oh gosh.. things just seems 2 b true.. i'm nt so sure bah.. quite shocked.. bt, as i said, i'm nt in tht position 2 do anything.. it's just beyond my control.. hope everything would be fine.. pray tht God would show both of them e truth tht they may have missed.. give them a clear mind 2 think carefully.. nt 2 misjudge............."

Wat tat person believe? I really wish 2 noe wat M tell tat person..At least, i'll noe how M think abt me.. Is M afraid of me or wat..If M is afraid, i'll then noe wat 2 do everytime when i saw M..So tat M wont get hurt or any phobia.. This prob is btw me & M..I think i'm in e position 2 say or at least do something tat can help her 2 overcome her phobia..I know i hurt M once..bt I too wish 2 help M..I too dun wish M 2 get hurt.. Really...

Horrible Day..

2006-07-17T19:19:00.000+08:00

2dae, quite normal..didnt really have much thing 2 share..e only part where i'm totally pissed off is our POA lesson..Mr T keep using words like stupid, idiot, go 2 ite...etc on us..though after hearing it 4 abt 1 year 7 month liao bt somehow still feel quite angry..haiz..When we say we wanna tell our parent he'll say : " i'm nt saying u..i'm saying those idiots.."bt after a while later he'll say : " i dunno y i teaching a bunch of stupid pupils.."

Though our sch teacher keep teaching us..telling us..No 1 is perfect, dere is bound 2 b imperfection..bt he still keep on saying us stupid..Everyone have their own talent..He didnt even bother 2 explain wat he teach then how he expect us 2 get A1 for his POA? Anyway, we already learn 2 hack care him le..we choose 2 depend on ourself rather than depend on him..Heehee..

Cold War Ended...

2006-07-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, 2dae wake up at 10.30am, started 2 play games at heavygames.com..then at ard 2pm went 2 Woodland Library 2 study wif Rui & Rin..Wah..super stress esp when i was doing my chemistry hmwk..haiz..gotta study more next time..

At ard 4 plus, Qingxiu & Ping come 2 library & meet us..We sit 4 awhile then Qingxiu & me went 2 mac & chat..after tat, e 5 of us, went 2 CWP..Ping, Rui & Rin went 2 buy qingxiu bday present while i accompany Qingxiu 2 walk ard..soon we meet up wif Emmo, Huilin, Tingyuan, Kaiying..9 of us went 2 Pastamania 2 celebrate Qingxiu bday..hehe..Qingxiu treat every1 of us..hmm, after tat Ping, Rui, Rin & me went 2 e Arcade 2 play drum..bt luckily we manage 2 control ourself..we play only 4 a while, we went back hm le..

Hmmm, i think Cold war ended le..we did tok 2dae..maybe need more time 2 b back like wat we are in e past..Finally, it's over.. :) My Cousin going 2 Swizterland tml night..haha..so sad tat e day after i've 2 study so i cant sent her 2 e airport..haiz..Nvm..haha..i'll wait 4 her chocolate..hehe.. yummy yummy..bt most impt is hope tat she enjoy.. Tml is also Ryan bday..haha..My cute little Di Di Da Da..finally 2 yrs old le..wahaha.. :) :)

Saddist

2006-07-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hmm, today morning during assembly saw raindow on the sky..so beautiful..then it started raining..During PE lesson, went 2 hall, play some ball games..so fun..bt i'm nt a gd catcher..haha.. After sch, went to sci lab 2 attend a workshop on fermentation..Then have some Maggie Mee in the lab...cool man..super tasty..haha..

Haiz..today dint really feel well emotionally..Sad is definitly more than anger..Kinda sad somewhere in my heart..haiz..dunno how 2 describe..Wont ever 4ever 4get e hurt she gave me..It's damn hurt..haiz..she dun understand..no 1 understand..i always tot she is e closest 2 me and understand me well..Never expect she would be e 1 hu say i'm childish..she hurt my dignity..Of course can 4give, i've 4give her since ytd night..bt juz cant 4get..Too hurtful liao..i need time..Then suddenly a bible verse came pass thru my mind..God want us 2 b a peace-maker rather than a trouble-maker..well, i'm trying 2..bt somehow, when sadness become angryness, it make me more hard 2 try 2 b peace-maker..Even till nw, i dun find myself at any fault..how & y should i go say sorry 2 her? it somehow make me lose more of my intergrity.. :(

I treasure tis friendship so much so as how i treasure M's friendship bt since it is so fragile..then let it GAME OVER ba..Somehow, it's proven tat e more i treasure a friendship, e more it will leave me..Perhaps, from nw on, i should learn 2 take friendship as a game...Win or Lose, it does nt matters me anymore.. :(

Irritated!!

2006-07-13T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Ytd, went 4 my Eng oral, I think i do very badly in my Picture conversation..haiz..super sad..After sch, went to CWP wif Rui & Ping 2 watch a movie named "Re-cycle"..Nt really a Scary Movie..somehow, i find it quite touching..

Today, went on quite smoothly until some1 suddenly cried..After 1 whole round, everything become my fault..Somemore, i dint make her cry..She go in2 e class, she suddenly cry..i try 2 tok 2 her, she ignore me..so i walk 2 tok 2 other friends..then end up my fault..She say i childish & petty..Wat e hell lor?! Since she dun wanna tok 2 me, so i tok 2 e other friends of mine lor.. Dun tell me i've 2 wait till her 2 b happy then tok 2 me..If she 4ever nt happy then does it mean 4ever i cant tok 2 anyone else? Dot Dot Dot...overall, Wat am i 2 her? A 24 hrs maid? or 24 hrs bodyguard? Y I muz sit dere & wait 4 her 2 tok 2 me? I've my freedom 2 walk ard e class..Yet she push all the blame 2 me..saying tat i've attitude prob..I juz walk away & tok 2 others, like tat also call attitude prob..dunno wat on earth she thinking..Super Angry!!

Not only u're pissed off...i'm super duper pissed off..Think clearly b4 u say i gt attitude probs.. even if i've , u're no where better..if u wanna say is my fault, i'm petty & childish then go ahead.. i no longer gif a damn..I try 2 concern u yet u ignore me & push all e blame 2 me..Since u wan cold war then go & have e cold war urself..i no longer care!! i'm nt tat childish 2 join u 4 tat!! Hao xin mei hao bao.. Forget it..Super Irritated by ur selfish attitude!!

Ytd & 2dae

2006-07-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

Ytd, a grp of china ppl come 2 our sch..Early in e morning at ard 8.40am, i reach sci lab & every1 started preparing..As i was decorating e position of those candles suddenly e Fictionally Distillation Machines exploded & i was juz right beside it..haha..Bt I nt scare lei..c?! I so brave.. wahaha..i was only abit shock..haha..hmm, then after tat..we started waiting 4 e china student.. They're v.friendly..Somehow, i enjoy toking 2 them..coz at least can speak in mandrin..wahaha..

Hmm, 2dae went 2 sch..feeling very tire..During MTL, started 2 have gastric pain until POA lesson..Super painful..haiz..After Sch, went 2 under block wif Qingxiu & Erin..We saw 2 pair of couple kissing..1 is on e left, e other pair was in e right..haha.. 3 of us, keep laughing & so we decided 2 walk e middle..haha..We reach another block, waited 4 half & hr 4 e Ice-cream man bt he didnt come..haha..So Qingxiu & me sit cab back hm..

Tml, N lvl Engl Oral..Super scary..hope i can do well & hopefully it can help me 2 pull up my Eng overall marks..After so many days of much consideration, i've again decided 2 let go..I shall put aside watever friendship & focus in my STUDIES..Right nw, Wat is more impt is my N lvl..& I really dun have much time left.. :( Hmm, My cousin going 2 Switerland 4 hoildays..Super happy 4 her..can go overseas..Will keep on & pray 4 her 2 b sound & safe..Thus, will also pray 4 every1 2 score well 4 e N lvl prelim & actual paper.. Everyone Jia you Jia you Jia you Go Go Go!! :)

It's nt ur fault

2006-07-09T15:11:00.000+08:00

Haiz..qingxiu, dun be sad,dun blame urself..seeing u like tat, i too feel sad..it's nt ur fault..No one can predict wat will happen..i understand how u feel right nw.. i've also been thru e times where all e "care" become "hurt"..Take time 2 recover & stop pushing all e blame 2 urself..no one is at fault..Understand? Things will improve as time goes by..Muz trust me..Rmb wat u told me ytd? Life is full of Up & down..U told me wat is my "up" time & wat is my "down" time..It applies same 2 u too..ya? Overcoming those problem is wat we need 2 do nw..correct? Shouldnt b beaten down by e current situation..

Really very sorry tat i dunno how 2 help u..Bt like i say, i willing 2 b ur listener..Anything cal me & i'll b dere 4 u..U're in ur down moment & i really understand tat..Watever is on going nw, girl, u've 2 stay stong..overcome it..Trust tat everyone of us will stay by ur side & we will all support u in watever u decide.. :)

MOE Excel Fest 2006

2006-07-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

Today, went 2 e MOE Excel Fest 2006 at Admiralty Pri..Can never imagine tat my own pri sch will b so beautiful..really super big & nice..saw alot of my ex-teachers..haha..Tok 2 alot of them..haha..Afternoon, liping come & look 4 us, then we 2 go tour ard e sch..tok alot abt e changes in e sch..

Hmm, go back hm tried 2 download Sdo patch again..Finally tis time can download liao..Ytd, keep downloading e wrong data until mid-night 3 plus..nw,finally can play..whoo..super happy..haha..play 4 an hour or so then lvl up liao..haha..see i so clever? haha..Qingxiu bao more clever, she lvl 3 le..cool man..muz dance more & earn more G point 2 buy clothes..haha..

Toking 2 Sz nw, hmm..cant say toking..is juz like slient?! ya..we both didnt tok only hold on 2 e phone & remain silent..Juz nw we gt tok abt e MOE Excel Fest..Realise tat ytd M also gt go..haiz..sz told me high chance tat M will go 4 today MOE Excel Fest too..Haiz..i was in e sch 4 e whole day, bt i didnt saw her..can tis b counted as fate-less? I admit e past prob btw us is still troubling me..somewhere deep inside my heart, i'm nt happy..Everyone can c, our distance is getting further & further apart..i dunno how long can i still hold on 2 tis friendship which she have long forgotten..My confident & paitent is nw in a decreasing order.. :( :(

Early dismissal...

2006-07-07T12:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm, feeling very tire even though today, sch ends early..haha..Rui, Qingxiu, Erin, Huilin, Emmo, Kaiying & Tingyuan go 2 Vista Point after tat..haha..see? i so gd..i never join them.. haha..Actually, i wanted 2 go back hm 2 play Super Dancer Online (SDO) bt still cant play coz e offical launch is at 2dae 6pm..wah super excited!! haha..long time never play le..i think i'll deprove alot..haha..

Tml, going back 2 my Pri Sch 4 e MOE Excel Fest 2006..Hmm, really hope tat i wont make any mistake..Bt finally can go back 2 my pri sch liao..really feeling super duper happy..Wonder how it looks nw..Big? Beautiful? hehe..Super Curious..Then guess wat? Eric say,tml still gt refreshment.. Somehow, i juz like REFRESHMENT..lots & lots of FOODS!! yummy yummy!! haha..Mon sch starts at 9.30am due 2 e FIFA World Cup..haha..cool man..can sleep more..haha..

Going 2 slp nw, later 6pm will log in ON TIME 2 PLAY!! Oh my SDO..super excited!! wahaha..Though addicted bt nt going 2 let tat affect my studies de..N Level Prelim left wif 28 days..Die die also muz get a gd result!! Everyone Jia you Jia you Jia you, Go Go Go!! Haha..

Mood swing

2006-07-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

Haiz..Recently so many test, 2dae get back my Math Test Paper 1, only get 35/60..was like super sad..lots of careless mistake..haiz..Hmm, recess time, saw M walking past..she look at me 4 a sec then she quickly turn her head back & looked down on e floor..haiz..Cant blame her too, cause i'm also behaving tis way..haiz..we both looks kinda embarrass whenever we saw each other eversince she recieve e present & card..Maybe my decision on passing her e present & card was wrong? Y everything ended up becoming like tis? Really dun understand..Haiz..

After sch, go 4 e NAFA re-test wif Emmo, Kellie, Erin..hmm, i only need 2 re-do e Shuttle-run.. hehe..Guess wat? I Pass!! haha..Erm, ya..then after tat went 2 vista point wif Erin, Emmo, Kaiying, Huilin & Tingyuan..They all laugh like crazy..Me is the only "normal" person..Haha.. See? i so "normal"..ahem**..haha..Actually, no la..it's bcoz i'm toking 2 Rui..Keep on forcing her 2 go watch movie tml bt she keep on saying tml then gif me the ans..say until i wanna die liao she still say the same thing..super pathetic lor..lolx..haha..

Qingxiu bao so evil keep on saying without her accompanying we all go Vista we muz be very boring..then when i told her we all very happily even without her, she say she sad..haha..She still say if wan her 2 b happy muz say "without her very boring.." so evil..haha..

It is impossible

2006-06-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

Today, didnt go 2 sch coz didnt really have much lesson only PE & MT..Ytd, spend e whole night rushing out e present then 2dae, rush 2 sch straight after i printed e photos..Went 2 open plaza & put in e photos in2 e album..Hoping 2 pass it 2 sz & ask her 2 help me pass it 2 M..Bt when i get everything ready, i found out tat e party ended abt 5 min ago liao..becoz M gt 2 rush 4 meeting..Tis 5 min changed alot of things..4 eg, e present i gave wasnt belated present bt nw seem like it's belated..etc...haiz..I was really sad..It's all my fault..

Then Mr lim bring me in2 e ......... 2 put my present on M's desk & i saw something...Later on, went 2 Triple 8 & eat KFC wif Rui & Eric then meet up wif Ping & Qingxiu..went 2 Ping's Hse 2 play..We have a gd time playing Mahjong..haha..i juz keep on & on winning bt we didnt gamble.. so even i win also no use..bt seriously, i wasnt in a mood 2 play too..Eversince, i saw tat something, my whole mind was like thinking abt e same qns thru out e day, i'm really wondering wat should i do next..i'm totally lost..Though after seeing tat, my sadness disappear.. it should b a gd news..bt bcoz i think nw she is still nt yet 2 "Recover"..i dun dare 2 confirm wat i see.. somehow, i scare it's only my own wishful thinking..Ya..i think is my own wishful thinking..2 days ago, sz juz told me abt ?? fear towards me after toking 2 M..i think toward M, i'm only a monster tat hurt her ba..it cant b true tat she still care & dere is still hope 4 me 2 friend her back..

Really wanna noe wat is her reaction when she saw tat present on her desk tis coming Tues..Juz hope, she wont return 2 me..& also hope tat she have a enjoyable birthday tml & also 2dae..Wish tat she've a HAPPY birthday.. :)

Lost & confuse

2006-06-28T16:12:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Though sch juz reopen 4 only 3 day, e teachers are already starting 2 nag at us le..Almost every lesson, they'll keep on reminding us, N level is only left wif how many days..Ytd almost get knocked down by a taxi..At tat time, i think..I was only abt 10-20 more cm away frm death..I was really very blank when i saw e taxi driving toward me..Bt luckily Rui quickly pulled me away..Really a big thanks 2 Rui..

Then ytd at night tok 2 sz, while toking 2 her, feel really down..Have really been thinking tat i'm like a idiot..Esp when she told me zx was kinda afraid & hate me after M tok 2 zx..B4 tat, i was really like preparing on M's present..etc..2 more days later, is e day i've been waiting 4..bt somehow, tat excitement juz went off after toking 2 sz..Seriously speaking, i've tried tokin & explain 2 her..Bt she juz cant get wat i mean? Y muz tell others how bad i'm all tis & make other think another way of me? Is tis wat she really think of me? Am i really tat scary & irritating? Somehow, i really wish tat i dunno a single thing so tat i can still happily countdown & still carry some hope..bt nw, no more..All along, i'm juz nth 2 her..i tot things have been improving bt actually, is my own wishful thinking..

How, i wish i can suffer frm memory loss..so i can 4get watever is happening & everything abt her..i'm definitly nt normal, i cant laugh like crazy..somewhere deep inside my heart seem 2 b very sad..i'm feeling kinda weird..Am wondering wat should i do wif e birthday present? Should i pretend as if i dunno anything & gif it 2 her or throw it away? Wat way, i do will make her feel more comfortable & happy? Can some1 juz kindly tell me wat 2 do? How & Wat i can do 2 make her more happy? I really wish i can do something 4 her..

Tml is a fresh new day...

2006-06-25T00:26:00.000+08:00

Tis few days really lots of problem..juz kinda sad..bt today, i am feeling more better..In Fact everything was solved..still young? Maybe tis is e excuse i write 4 myself..bt never will i repeat it again..Out of anger..ya..perhaps nw i have cool down & should be more clear of wat i'm going 2 do?

Ytd, went 2 library wif Rui, Ping & Eric.. I was like e whole day doing the NYAA thing..no time 2 even go up 2 e 3rd storey or 4th storey 2 browse thru those bks..Hmm..We brought french fries into e library & we eat it secretly..cool man..love it..haha..then after tat, dere is a fashion show..All e dresses look pretty & sexy..hmm...At ard 6 plus, we went 2 e foodcourt 2 buy food 2 eat..wah..e pepper meat was really super duper nice..well..hmm..was abit fall in love wif it indeed ya..haha...

Hmmm...After so many thing, i found out prob can b solve thru toking...was really wondering when will M gif me e chance 2 tok 2 her? Perhaps she really did gif me chances, bt i fail 2 see it? dun wan everything 2 end juz like this..left wif 6 more days? Then perhaps, i'll really understand wat is her ans...Bt no matter wat, thank God, tat incident tat once hurt me was over..nw, i can go back 2 normal & focus on M & mine prob.Hope tat it can be like today, happy ending? I think is my own wishful thinking..

New Blog

2006-06-24T01:04:00.000+08:00

So sad..really hate it..when i've 2 really like scold them..didnt feel gd..bt i really dun like ppl 2 scold me esp wif all those 4 letter words..I get hurt very hurt esp when e person hu scold me is my cousin & a boy hu grow up wif me since young..i'm weak at heart..so i usually protect myself by being strong outside...Well, i know, God dun like me 2 scold them back..bt i really cant control my temper..in order 2 protect myself, i decided 2 really go scold them back 2 make them feel guilty..hope they'll feel guilty..

I actually didnt wanna scold them back de ever since my 3rd cousin come & chat wif me in MSN..bt tat cousin she scold me SHUCK..Shuck mean liar..so i become very angry..no..should say angry is sad..luckily rui is dere 4 me...so my friends out dere, tis is my very new blog, i hope u all wont go back 2 e old blog, cause i think is full of vulgarities..hope i spell it correctly..

I'm really very sad..i'm alone frm now on, no more relatives tat dote me le...no more cousin tat once really really care for me..i cut of ties wif them le..no 1 understand wat my feeling is like..i dun feel gd saying them back wif 4 letter word..bt i need 2 protect myself..i really need 2 protect myself..